What would I do without a little election action at a school I am attending.
Elementary school yielded a presidency, in sixth grade, when I courted the fourth and fifth grade votes, letting one of my friends, and a long-term crush split the sixth grade vote. I easily won that election using political strategy - what 10-year-old has a campaign strategy to wipe out their opponents?
Middle school was no different, as I used the same catchy slogan that worked two years earlier - a play on words using my last name. I presented a top-ten list of reasons to vote for me, which was presented in speech form in front of the entire school, which was a conglomeration of self-deprecating humor. I re-enlisted the strategy that worked as a "youngun" investing my time in the two younger grades, splitting the votes of those my age with my opponent. Again, I won, but the results mirrored that of Florida in the 2000 election, except I think I may have played the role of George W. Bush - I am not entirely happy of this.
High school I skipped the elections, because I had better things to do, like playing fire-fighter, being a manly athletic team captain, busting my lungs in choir. I think females had something to do with it, but who can remember that far back? Anyhow, I was just "too cool" to be part of them then. Plus, I was not the dance-organizing type, and it seemed like that was all they did.
College was rough. It took me twice to win, but the second time was triumphant in many aspects. My campaign was cunning, ground-breaking, and a bit sneaky. My ticket slaughtered our opponents in every aspect of the race, winning by a margin large enough to affect a change in election procedures outlawing both the pooling of money and running on a slate. Good things die hard.
So, three presidencies later, and I still have not learned my lesson.
I have decided to run for the 1L representative of my section (the school is split into two daytime sections and one part-time night section - each daytime section gets two representatives each, and the night section one). It is my belief that there are six of us running for the two positions on the Student Bar Association, known as SBA, (the student government for the law school) for our section.
Campaigning begins Monday morning at 8AM and ends Thursday at 6:ooPM. Voting takes place Wednesday and Thursday, with the results being announced at the Fall Bash, an event full of booze and dancing that is thrown by the SBA. School is bound to be that much more stressful and interesting.
I am preparing some very simple posters that push my well-recognized last name and add a bit of humor. Simplicity and fun is the basis of my strategy, with a balancing of academics and social opportunities as my platform. I do know of two of my opponents running on a ticket together, so hopefully I can create an element of surprise by either breaking up the draw of a slate, or become the dark-horse candidate.
I have tried carefully not create any enemies, and help my classmates if it was at all possible, as I think that this will help me reduce my stress of competition throughout the year, and will invite people to relax as well. I hope to be pleased with my efforts.
I do not have class tomorrow, so the night should be fun. I am a little homesick, but have not reached the date that will mark the longest I have been away from my hometown. I think I handled being in Germany and Denmark more easy than I have New York. Perhaps it was always knowing that I was coming home after that short period. Who knows.
Perhaps when I surpass the six week mark I will celebrate a little with a leave from studying. Or, maybe I will take a lunch break at school. Both sound equally nice.
Off I am, to share a drink with friends and celebrate the end of the week. Time to unwind.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Character and Fitness - September 26, 2007
Adding an element to the character and fitness portion of the Bar Exam would be of beneficence to the general public and the legal profession. It does not matter whether you are stuck behind a desk tending to tax law matters, sitting in a board room as corporate counsel, or litigating in front of a judge and jury: you have to exude confidence and you must be able to communicate. I am constantly amazed at the soft voices, unsure answers and meek tendencies my classmates exhibit. If they interact with living people during their careers, there will be many 180 degree turns made at their door.
Judgmental is only the tip of my proverbial iceberg. The profession is all about image. Everything you do speaks. Body language, vocal projection, verbal clarity, clear, concise and organized thought, as well as outer appearance are all factors that are taken into account. For some, the judgment is subconscious, while other - like myself - are conscious in habitual judgment. A large joke between my friends and I was how in touch I am about how judgmental I am. It is not necessarily a bad thing. I watch all of my actions that much closer as a result.
I have inner piece knowing that the organizations I was a part of as a boy instilled qualities that are setting me apart from the crowd. Confidence, leadership, verbal skills, planning and preparedness are chiseled into my brain. Let's face it: youth organizations are breeding grounds for attorneys. It is like the Chinese Olympic training system. We are beaten with these ideals from birth, and we are expected to perform to a higher standard as a result.
From your suit to your voice, people are always sizing you up. If you are short, you have no choice but to make up for it with confidence and a tendency to exert yourself (known as Napoleonic Syndrome). Taller people recognize their gift of natural presence, and use it to their advantage. We must capitalize on the gifts we have, and work with fervency and tenacity to learn and master those skills we do not.
If a professor asks you to speak up, this is a sign of things to work on. If you are not confident, find an outlet that will let you practice that which you are not confident. Life is a giant choice and image is everything.
Sometimes, however, our message (as supplied by our image and actions) are not rightly received. As such, some clearing up is needed.
Being overly nice and supplying an ego boost, in my opinion, is very different from lying. Perhaps it is the future Esquire in me, but I feel that the annoying habit of "brown-nosing" is far from deception. In fact, brown-nosing is symbiotic in nature. In fact, I would more happily liken sucking-up to showing extreme amounts of deference to those with power. I do believe that there is a time and place for employing these skills, but disagree with a notion that embracing a strong relationship with a person who controls your future is a skill to be proud of.
Let's face it: higher education is the training ground for the professional world. I find it impossible that any person in the professional world has not put to use these skills. Whether you are selling a car, speaking to your boss, or trying a case in front of a judge, everybody engages themselves in a dance that will yield the best results. We all have experienced, or know a friend who has, kept their mouth shut when a boss asks you to do a task, when all you want to do is toss your paper-weight at his temple. In school, this situation is the same.
There is another side, too. Leaving this deferential treatment of others at school. I have too much pride to demean myself by being anything but forwardly honest to everybody. We all act differently when in a professional work environment than we do at home, with friends, or engaging in an extraneous activity. My profession is being a law student. I will act in any way that my professor deems necessary to yield the best results possible. I will maintain honesty, courtesy, respect and honor in all my actions. This is what sets me apart.
Brown-nosing is borne by those who are on the receiving end of the action. It is what they feel is the best action in a given situation. This is the real world.
My character and fitness review would include speaking and presentation portions that test verbal communication, passion and image. Hopefully my subservient actions will not make me fit into the lacking category when it comes to my definition of the character and fitness of attorneys.
Time will tell.
Judgmental is only the tip of my proverbial iceberg. The profession is all about image. Everything you do speaks. Body language, vocal projection, verbal clarity, clear, concise and organized thought, as well as outer appearance are all factors that are taken into account. For some, the judgment is subconscious, while other - like myself - are conscious in habitual judgment. A large joke between my friends and I was how in touch I am about how judgmental I am. It is not necessarily a bad thing. I watch all of my actions that much closer as a result.
I have inner piece knowing that the organizations I was a part of as a boy instilled qualities that are setting me apart from the crowd. Confidence, leadership, verbal skills, planning and preparedness are chiseled into my brain. Let's face it: youth organizations are breeding grounds for attorneys. It is like the Chinese Olympic training system. We are beaten with these ideals from birth, and we are expected to perform to a higher standard as a result.
From your suit to your voice, people are always sizing you up. If you are short, you have no choice but to make up for it with confidence and a tendency to exert yourself (known as Napoleonic Syndrome). Taller people recognize their gift of natural presence, and use it to their advantage. We must capitalize on the gifts we have, and work with fervency and tenacity to learn and master those skills we do not.
If a professor asks you to speak up, this is a sign of things to work on. If you are not confident, find an outlet that will let you practice that which you are not confident. Life is a giant choice and image is everything.
Sometimes, however, our message (as supplied by our image and actions) are not rightly received. As such, some clearing up is needed.
Being overly nice and supplying an ego boost, in my opinion, is very different from lying. Perhaps it is the future Esquire in me, but I feel that the annoying habit of "brown-nosing" is far from deception. In fact, brown-nosing is symbiotic in nature. In fact, I would more happily liken sucking-up to showing extreme amounts of deference to those with power. I do believe that there is a time and place for employing these skills, but disagree with a notion that embracing a strong relationship with a person who controls your future is a skill to be proud of.
Let's face it: higher education is the training ground for the professional world. I find it impossible that any person in the professional world has not put to use these skills. Whether you are selling a car, speaking to your boss, or trying a case in front of a judge, everybody engages themselves in a dance that will yield the best results. We all have experienced, or know a friend who has, kept their mouth shut when a boss asks you to do a task, when all you want to do is toss your paper-weight at his temple. In school, this situation is the same.
There is another side, too. Leaving this deferential treatment of others at school. I have too much pride to demean myself by being anything but forwardly honest to everybody. We all act differently when in a professional work environment than we do at home, with friends, or engaging in an extraneous activity. My profession is being a law student. I will act in any way that my professor deems necessary to yield the best results possible. I will maintain honesty, courtesy, respect and honor in all my actions. This is what sets me apart.
Brown-nosing is borne by those who are on the receiving end of the action. It is what they feel is the best action in a given situation. This is the real world.
My character and fitness review would include speaking and presentation portions that test verbal communication, passion and image. Hopefully my subservient actions will not make me fit into the lacking category when it comes to my definition of the character and fitness of attorneys.
Time will tell.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Playing The Game - September 25, 2007
It is definitely a very good thing when a professor complains to you about other students.
At 9:30 in the morning my conference was scheduled to take place to discuss the paper writing assignment that is due next week. It is a rewrite of the corrected, but not graded, first assignment we handed in two weeks prior. This paper is the first grade I will receive in Law School, so I am going all out.
I stayed up last night, very late, making sure I did a quality rewrite of my first paper, highlighting the elements, and making corrections so that when I walked into my professor's office, the paper was quality. I figured that, were she to make comments and corrections, they would be the ones that draw me to the top of the class.
She looked at my paper, at was pleased to see this effort. After going over my paper, she began to chat with me, thanking me again for my giving of the card and bear for her daughter. After relating how pleased she was with my work, she described her dismay pertaining to other students' effort, or lack thereof. I sat back, nodded my head, and agreed as she ripped my classmates to pieces.
This is a very good sign. Well, at least for me.
Signs from professors is something I am adept at manipulating, that is, without the negative meaning that being manipulative carries. When I was in middle school, I caught a ride home with a friend's carpool - rhyme unintentional, though we did have a discussion in legal writing today about judges who write their opinion in Seussian rhyme, very amusing, but as usual, I digress - wherein my friend Stephen began to complain about the fact that students were "sucking-up" to teachers. After outlining his thesis on the ills of the educational system and the annoyances caused by students who contribute to the ego of teachers in general, his mother made a statement that I have not only remembered, but put to use to win the game I like to call "Undergraduate Education." She said that, soon enough, we will begin to notice that it is those same students who are getting better grades, and that if the teacher has a choice about whether to give them a higher or lower grade if they are "borderline", they will definitely get the higher of the two.
Sheer life-changing brilliance.
As discussed in previous days of lament, I have grasped the art of brown-nosing and perfected the practice. My education was a game. It was complete with four-quarters and, in my case, penalty time (let's hear it for the five-year plan) referees, teammates and opponents. The most important person in the game, in my opinion, are the referees. They can change the outcome of the game if they so choose. Being competitive, I sought to perfect the playing of the game, and would like to think that I was the Tiger Woods of it as a result.
Though there is much more to it than sucking-up, taking the skill of brown-nosing and coupling it with a keen ability to judge people and their abilities, I won the game in Undergrad. I wish that this game would transfer over, but I am not that lucky. Going from undergrad to law school is like going from Pee-Wees to the Majors, in that this is a whole new levels where the rules have changed. One could even liken the difference to that of mastering soccer, and subsequently competing in hockey. Point taken.
I am learning this new game, though the curve is sharp. Hopefully I will master the play quickly and diligently, but I suspect it will take some time.
Here is a select list of 20 things I have learned thus far:
1- Raise your hand when you know something so that you will not get called on when you do not.
2- There are no rules to the game play, anything goes, the more creative the better (read:
giving the professor's daughter a stuffed animal)
3- The curve creates enemies. Make sure you have none. This is a sneaky task.
4- Appearance is everything. There is no difference between knowing something and appearing to know something. Making others think you are ahead is the key to law school life. The same goes for befriending people.
5- Find a very close group of friends quickly. Inasmuch as one should shut out others so as not to create stress, drama or a lecherous relationship, there is always room for more.
6- Law school time is all the time.
7- Brush the bad things off. Embrace the positives. The professor will not remember that you got a question wrong months from now. Learn from it and move on.
8- (a) Try not to piss off a professor. If you are like me, see 8(b).
(b) If you piss off a professor you instantly understand why there is blind grading in law school.
9- Microsoft One-Note is evidence of a higher being. Amazing. In addition, law school is the only time you will ever praise Microsoft. Enjoy it while you can.
10- Do not regret making fun of the kid who used different color highlighters in high school and college. It was lame then, but in Law School, it is cool. At least, that is what you should tell yourself.
11- Your life has become so sad that you choose favorites. For example, I really dislike my green highlighter, but love orange. I wish I had blue.
12- LEXISNEXIS and Westlaw are like crack cocaine, only, more expensive.
13- A good day is one in which you do not get called on.
14- You are stressed because homework, for lack of a better term, is due two weeks after it is assigned.
15- The name of a professor alone produces sheer terror.
16- The atmosphere is so intense that you sweat in class even though your feet are showing signs of frostbite.
17- Using the hot air expelled from your laptop fan is a viable hand-warming device for your neighbor.
18- (a)You do not know the names of, nor have you ever spoken to, more than 10 people in a class of 130, but you all always have something in common to talk about: how much the idiots annoy you.
(b) You will never know nor understand how or why some of these people were admitted to study law. Perhaps the medical schooling system knows what it is doing. Send them to Botswana or Guatemala. Regardless, learn to embrace the idiocy, these are the people who you hope will be at the ground floor of the curve.
(c) Every time your name moves up on the sign-in sheet, you know somebody dropped out. Be sad for the same reason as that in 18(b)
19- You rarely talk to people between class because you always have somewhere to go or something to do. Savor lunch, if you have time. In fact, you see somebody new in class each day, even though you have spent a decent amount of time in the same cell.
20- The smallest bits of humor are the most endearing. Whether it is the use of Yiddish in lecture, allusions to "our friend Sen. Craig.", or youthful enthusiasm, if you latch on to that which you enjoy in your professors, class can be transformed into a different world. Keep your head up, and pay attention, and flash a smile back every once-in-awhile.
Today felt very short, though I had a lot of class.
Still loving my legal writing class. Still grasping the concepts in contracts. Still on top of civil procedure and torts. Still wondering why my criminal law professor is not a little more gentle, as I know she is.
Life goes on. Wish me luck and send your best.
At 9:30 in the morning my conference was scheduled to take place to discuss the paper writing assignment that is due next week. It is a rewrite of the corrected, but not graded, first assignment we handed in two weeks prior. This paper is the first grade I will receive in Law School, so I am going all out.
I stayed up last night, very late, making sure I did a quality rewrite of my first paper, highlighting the elements, and making corrections so that when I walked into my professor's office, the paper was quality. I figured that, were she to make comments and corrections, they would be the ones that draw me to the top of the class.
She looked at my paper, at was pleased to see this effort. After going over my paper, she began to chat with me, thanking me again for my giving of the card and bear for her daughter. After relating how pleased she was with my work, she described her dismay pertaining to other students' effort, or lack thereof. I sat back, nodded my head, and agreed as she ripped my classmates to pieces.
This is a very good sign. Well, at least for me.
Signs from professors is something I am adept at manipulating, that is, without the negative meaning that being manipulative carries. When I was in middle school, I caught a ride home with a friend's carpool - rhyme unintentional, though we did have a discussion in legal writing today about judges who write their opinion in Seussian rhyme, very amusing, but as usual, I digress - wherein my friend Stephen began to complain about the fact that students were "sucking-up" to teachers. After outlining his thesis on the ills of the educational system and the annoyances caused by students who contribute to the ego of teachers in general, his mother made a statement that I have not only remembered, but put to use to win the game I like to call "Undergraduate Education." She said that, soon enough, we will begin to notice that it is those same students who are getting better grades, and that if the teacher has a choice about whether to give them a higher or lower grade if they are "borderline", they will definitely get the higher of the two.
Sheer life-changing brilliance.
As discussed in previous days of lament, I have grasped the art of brown-nosing and perfected the practice. My education was a game. It was complete with four-quarters and, in my case, penalty time (let's hear it for the five-year plan) referees, teammates and opponents. The most important person in the game, in my opinion, are the referees. They can change the outcome of the game if they so choose. Being competitive, I sought to perfect the playing of the game, and would like to think that I was the Tiger Woods of it as a result.
Though there is much more to it than sucking-up, taking the skill of brown-nosing and coupling it with a keen ability to judge people and their abilities, I won the game in Undergrad. I wish that this game would transfer over, but I am not that lucky. Going from undergrad to law school is like going from Pee-Wees to the Majors, in that this is a whole new levels where the rules have changed. One could even liken the difference to that of mastering soccer, and subsequently competing in hockey. Point taken.
I am learning this new game, though the curve is sharp. Hopefully I will master the play quickly and diligently, but I suspect it will take some time.
Here is a select list of 20 things I have learned thus far:
1- Raise your hand when you know something so that you will not get called on when you do not.
2- There are no rules to the game play, anything goes, the more creative the better (read:
giving the professor's daughter a stuffed animal)
3- The curve creates enemies. Make sure you have none. This is a sneaky task.
4- Appearance is everything. There is no difference between knowing something and appearing to know something. Making others think you are ahead is the key to law school life. The same goes for befriending people.
5- Find a very close group of friends quickly. Inasmuch as one should shut out others so as not to create stress, drama or a lecherous relationship, there is always room for more.
6- Law school time is all the time.
7- Brush the bad things off. Embrace the positives. The professor will not remember that you got a question wrong months from now. Learn from it and move on.
8- (a) Try not to piss off a professor. If you are like me, see 8(b).
(b) If you piss off a professor you instantly understand why there is blind grading in law school.
9- Microsoft One-Note is evidence of a higher being. Amazing. In addition, law school is the only time you will ever praise Microsoft. Enjoy it while you can.
10- Do not regret making fun of the kid who used different color highlighters in high school and college. It was lame then, but in Law School, it is cool. At least, that is what you should tell yourself.
11- Your life has become so sad that you choose favorites. For example, I really dislike my green highlighter, but love orange. I wish I had blue.
12- LEXISNEXIS and Westlaw are like crack cocaine, only, more expensive.
13- A good day is one in which you do not get called on.
14- You are stressed because homework, for lack of a better term, is due two weeks after it is assigned.
15- The name of a professor alone produces sheer terror.
16- The atmosphere is so intense that you sweat in class even though your feet are showing signs of frostbite.
17- Using the hot air expelled from your laptop fan is a viable hand-warming device for your neighbor.
18- (a)You do not know the names of, nor have you ever spoken to, more than 10 people in a class of 130, but you all always have something in common to talk about: how much the idiots annoy you.
(b) You will never know nor understand how or why some of these people were admitted to study law. Perhaps the medical schooling system knows what it is doing. Send them to Botswana or Guatemala. Regardless, learn to embrace the idiocy, these are the people who you hope will be at the ground floor of the curve.
(c) Every time your name moves up on the sign-in sheet, you know somebody dropped out. Be sad for the same reason as that in 18(b)
19- You rarely talk to people between class because you always have somewhere to go or something to do. Savor lunch, if you have time. In fact, you see somebody new in class each day, even though you have spent a decent amount of time in the same cell.
20- The smallest bits of humor are the most endearing. Whether it is the use of Yiddish in lecture, allusions to "our friend Sen. Craig.", or youthful enthusiasm, if you latch on to that which you enjoy in your professors, class can be transformed into a different world. Keep your head up, and pay attention, and flash a smile back every once-in-awhile.
Today felt very short, though I had a lot of class.
Still loving my legal writing class. Still grasping the concepts in contracts. Still on top of civil procedure and torts. Still wondering why my criminal law professor is not a little more gentle, as I know she is.
Life goes on. Wish me luck and send your best.
Monday, September 24, 2007
What's New - September 24, 2007
Today was as basic as a day can get. I spent over one-hour in traffic going to school, so I decided that I best make the best of my trek by staying in the library until 11:00PM.
I am feeling, for the first time, like I am behind and not working hard enough. Something changed over the last two weeks and I am not happy with the transformation that has seemingly taken place.
Regardless of the truth of the matter, feeling inadequate is not a good thing whatsoever. I sometimes feel lost in class, whereas never before did I feel such. I do not feel on top of the world, which for somebody as competitive as I, is not a good thing, but can become so. I need to reapply myself, use my competitive nature as a boost, and re-initiate the practices I used previously. I have too many feelings.
Perhaps other things have been on my mind, or I have reverted to my old ways; these practices were once workable, but cannot continue. I intend to spend late nights in the library.
In addition, people seem to have a more chipper attitude than I. Random acts of kindness have been seen multiple times, and I just do not seem to have that mentality of strengthening the community.
I received an email from my writing professor today thanking me for the teddy bear I gave her daughter (who is very sick and in the hospital). Normally, I would keep my mouth shut and take credit for my good deed, though I did not do a thing. However, this situation was very different.
I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow, so, if she asks me about it, which she is bound to do, I have to answer. I have an inkling about how she thinks I was a part of this good deed (read: brilliant act of sucking-up). I cannot be sure of this theory though, so I must do some research.
Tomorrow should be interesting.
I am feeling, for the first time, like I am behind and not working hard enough. Something changed over the last two weeks and I am not happy with the transformation that has seemingly taken place.
Regardless of the truth of the matter, feeling inadequate is not a good thing whatsoever. I sometimes feel lost in class, whereas never before did I feel such. I do not feel on top of the world, which for somebody as competitive as I, is not a good thing, but can become so. I need to reapply myself, use my competitive nature as a boost, and re-initiate the practices I used previously. I have too many feelings.
Perhaps other things have been on my mind, or I have reverted to my old ways; these practices were once workable, but cannot continue. I intend to spend late nights in the library.
In addition, people seem to have a more chipper attitude than I. Random acts of kindness have been seen multiple times, and I just do not seem to have that mentality of strengthening the community.
I received an email from my writing professor today thanking me for the teddy bear I gave her daughter (who is very sick and in the hospital). Normally, I would keep my mouth shut and take credit for my good deed, though I did not do a thing. However, this situation was very different.
I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow, so, if she asks me about it, which she is bound to do, I have to answer. I have an inkling about how she thinks I was a part of this good deed (read: brilliant act of sucking-up). I cannot be sure of this theory though, so I must do some research.
Tomorrow should be interesting.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Why I am Here - September 21, 2007
The following was in a prayer book at services I attended:
Whom can I accuse, of whom revenge demand,
When I have borne deep suffering at my own hand?
Other hearts have held hatred for me,
But my own heart hates me more than anyone knows.
My body bears the wounds of relentless foes,
But none can match my self-inflicted wounds.
I have been seduced for my destruction
But none have lured me than my own eyes.
I have been burned by countless fires,
But none compare to the heat of my desires.
In traps I've been ensnared by old and young,
But none have trapped me better than my own tongue.
Bandits have pursued me, fast and fleet,
But none pursue me faster than my own feet.
Pain overwhelms me, but no pain more than my rebellion.
Anguish increases, but never faster than transgression.
Whom can I blame, how can I function,
When I am the source of my own destruction?
-----
There was another line in the passage, but, being a prudent editor, I cut it out because I believe it takes a little away from the point of the statements.
As we read responsively with the leader, this passage really hit home. I spent the next half-hour likening the reasoning and inferences the writings make to my own life. There was something to be learned, and,because Fridays yield days of boredom, I readily accepted the challenge of applying it to the most important event in my life currently: law school.
The question is: What is the underlying reason for my attending law school, and why do I wish to enter the field of law I have chosen?
I know that some of the events in my life have been overly traumatic and psychologically damaging. The inability to say and do certain things (like express my love for those close to me, except on a rare basis) is traceable to a specific date or time. Other seemingly unjustified idiosyncrasies and actions I have taken are without explanation. I am relatively damaged goods, though I believe just about everybody is. So, we go back to the original question: Why law school and the field of law?
I think that some of the twists and turns in my life I have been wholly responsible for - all transgressions and damaging actions are included. As a result, I believe it possible that my atonement for these dealings and experiences can somehow be fulfilling to my subconscious. Maybe I just see dollar signs. But, either way, making a difference and being a "good" person is what matters to me. Well, those things and success. Mainly success, but that is probably attributed to the aforementioned psychological damage. If you are lost, what I mean is that perhaps I wish to practice law in an effort to fix the problems I have.
Regardless, there must be a reason for my self-sacrifice to attend law school, beyond my passion for a good argument. Who really knows.
As they say: Gam Zu L'Tova (This Too is For the Good).
And, I regret nothing.
-----
- R.F.
Whom can I accuse, of whom revenge demand,
When I have borne deep suffering at my own hand?
Other hearts have held hatred for me,
But my own heart hates me more than anyone knows.
My body bears the wounds of relentless foes,
But none can match my self-inflicted wounds.
I have been seduced for my destruction
But none have lured me than my own eyes.
I have been burned by countless fires,
But none compare to the heat of my desires.
In traps I've been ensnared by old and young,
But none have trapped me better than my own tongue.
Bandits have pursued me, fast and fleet,
But none pursue me faster than my own feet.
Pain overwhelms me, but no pain more than my rebellion.
Anguish increases, but never faster than transgression.
Whom can I blame, how can I function,
When I am the source of my own destruction?
-----
There was another line in the passage, but, being a prudent editor, I cut it out because I believe it takes a little away from the point of the statements.
As we read responsively with the leader, this passage really hit home. I spent the next half-hour likening the reasoning and inferences the writings make to my own life. There was something to be learned, and,because Fridays yield days of boredom, I readily accepted the challenge of applying it to the most important event in my life currently: law school.
The question is: What is the underlying reason for my attending law school, and why do I wish to enter the field of law I have chosen?
I know that some of the events in my life have been overly traumatic and psychologically damaging. The inability to say and do certain things (like express my love for those close to me, except on a rare basis) is traceable to a specific date or time. Other seemingly unjustified idiosyncrasies and actions I have taken are without explanation. I am relatively damaged goods, though I believe just about everybody is. So, we go back to the original question: Why law school and the field of law?
I think that some of the twists and turns in my life I have been wholly responsible for - all transgressions and damaging actions are included. As a result, I believe it possible that my atonement for these dealings and experiences can somehow be fulfilling to my subconscious. Maybe I just see dollar signs. But, either way, making a difference and being a "good" person is what matters to me. Well, those things and success. Mainly success, but that is probably attributed to the aforementioned psychological damage. If you are lost, what I mean is that perhaps I wish to practice law in an effort to fix the problems I have.
Regardless, there must be a reason for my self-sacrifice to attend law school, beyond my passion for a good argument. Who really knows.
As they say: Gam Zu L'Tova (This Too is For the Good).
And, I regret nothing.
-----
| "I took the [road] less traveled by, | |
| And that has made all the difference." |
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The Dark Side - September 20, 2007
Dear Reader: This never happens. I would not normally broadcast these types of dealings, but I want to maintain the journal-type quality of my actual, unabridged experiences. So, I must divulge the darker side. Please forgive.
-----
Few things can drive a person to drink:
- Siblings
- Parents
- A dog who experiences excited urination (every time I come home)
- Dumb people
- Republicans
- Horrible Drivers
- Law School
Yes, those studying law often resort to the same item that comforted our souls and nourished our bodies when we were born: the bottle. When we were young, that which was inside provided a more healthy result that did not upset our livers. The older version of the substance did not paint a picture that parents would be proud of.
This was my night:
10:00PM - Call my mother before the fun begins to make sure I am set for the night.
10:05PM - My roommates birthday celebration begins.
10:06PM - I am already three deep.
10:07PM - Plus one.
10:30PM - Neighbors insist that we vacate the pre-party premises .
10:34PM - Taxi arrives.
10:45PM - We arrive at the bar.
10:50PM - 1:00AM - This time period is a blur. I do know the following: I had another three shots of something (see drink count at the end).
1:30AM - My head begins to become too heavy to hold up and my liver begins labor negotiations.
1:45AM - Liver is not satisfied with the proposed agreement. Liver goes on strike, stomach joins out of solidarity.
1:53AM - I should have taken more seriously the negotiations. Head somehow manages to add enough weight to make it too hard to hold up. I rest my head on the table and begin soft moans. I want the strike to end.
2:00AM - We leave the bar for home.
Now, the last thing I remember is walking through my front door. The very next conscious memory is waking from the floor of my bathroom at 5:00AM whereupon I consider placing myself back into the fetal position in which I awoke because my bathmat is very much soft and plushy. I decided to make an adult decision: I brushed my teeth and moved myself the 10 feet to my bed. The wake-up a little more than two hours later was not great, but I have been graced by the powers that be with the abilities of a superhero: no hangover. Ever. That is luck. A friend in the crew told me that if they had the superpower, they would be an alcoholic. Lucky for me, I dislike alcohol on the whole.
Drink Count:
Vodka / SoCo Shots: 9
Jello Shots: 3
Jaegerbombs: 3
Vodka-Cranberry Mix: 1
What a celebration indeed.
-----
Prior to my shenanigans, I had an action packed day in criminal law and civil procedure. Criminal law was just as rough as it has been during the past weeks. Nobody is ever correct, but there are bright spots. Unlike other professors, this particular professor refuses to answer personal queries from students, demanding that they see her after class or during office hours. Praise this professor for not making the class worse by forcing me listen to the overtly idiotic questions from my "peers" (these are the same ones who make me want to drink).
I love my civil procedure professor, though he has to deal with me in a catatonic post-lunch-type state. After experiencing criminal law, I am completely drained and just wish to study the back of my eyelids. I wish the order of classes were switched. Life would be much more enjoyable.
After classes, I walked across campus in an effort to become devoid of self-worth to profit from networking with old rich donors to the school. The university has an association for persons who leave money to the campus in their estate planning. Basically, these are the people the school is hoping will die in a reasonable amount of time. But for me, this is quite the perfect equation. Special donor association = money; money = success in a given field; and, as you may have guessed, I will sell my soul for the right connections. Having been invited because I was awarded both a scholarship and a fellowship, I wanted the quest to turn out profitable. I wasted no time introducing myself and swooning women and talking-up men four times my age. I walked away with three business cards and some great stories. Success was mine.
It was a great day.
-----
Civil procedure lecture interaction of the day:
Professor: She [a female student] is correct.
Professor: [To a male student] What do you care about?
Student: Her assets.
Professor: Why do you care about her assets?
Students: Because they are important...
-----
Few things can drive a person to drink:
- Siblings
- Parents
- A dog who experiences excited urination (every time I come home)
- Dumb people
- Republicans
- Horrible Drivers
- Law School
Yes, those studying law often resort to the same item that comforted our souls and nourished our bodies when we were born: the bottle. When we were young, that which was inside provided a more healthy result that did not upset our livers. The older version of the substance did not paint a picture that parents would be proud of.
This was my night:
10:00PM - Call my mother before the fun begins to make sure I am set for the night.
10:05PM - My roommates birthday celebration begins.
10:06PM - I am already three deep.
10:07PM - Plus one.
10:30PM - Neighbors insist that we vacate the pre-party premises .
10:34PM - Taxi arrives.
10:45PM - We arrive at the bar.
10:50PM - 1:00AM - This time period is a blur. I do know the following: I had another three shots of something (see drink count at the end).
1:30AM - My head begins to become too heavy to hold up and my liver begins labor negotiations.
1:45AM - Liver is not satisfied with the proposed agreement. Liver goes on strike, stomach joins out of solidarity.
1:53AM - I should have taken more seriously the negotiations. Head somehow manages to add enough weight to make it too hard to hold up. I rest my head on the table and begin soft moans. I want the strike to end.
2:00AM - We leave the bar for home.
Now, the last thing I remember is walking through my front door. The very next conscious memory is waking from the floor of my bathroom at 5:00AM whereupon I consider placing myself back into the fetal position in which I awoke because my bathmat is very much soft and plushy. I decided to make an adult decision: I brushed my teeth and moved myself the 10 feet to my bed. The wake-up a little more than two hours later was not great, but I have been graced by the powers that be with the abilities of a superhero: no hangover. Ever. That is luck. A friend in the crew told me that if they had the superpower, they would be an alcoholic. Lucky for me, I dislike alcohol on the whole.
Drink Count:
Vodka / SoCo Shots: 9
Jello Shots: 3
Jaegerbombs: 3
Vodka-Cranberry Mix: 1
What a celebration indeed.
-----
Prior to my shenanigans, I had an action packed day in criminal law and civil procedure. Criminal law was just as rough as it has been during the past weeks. Nobody is ever correct, but there are bright spots. Unlike other professors, this particular professor refuses to answer personal queries from students, demanding that they see her after class or during office hours. Praise this professor for not making the class worse by forcing me listen to the overtly idiotic questions from my "peers" (these are the same ones who make me want to drink).
I love my civil procedure professor, though he has to deal with me in a catatonic post-lunch-type state. After experiencing criminal law, I am completely drained and just wish to study the back of my eyelids. I wish the order of classes were switched. Life would be much more enjoyable.
After classes, I walked across campus in an effort to become devoid of self-worth to profit from networking with old rich donors to the school. The university has an association for persons who leave money to the campus in their estate planning. Basically, these are the people the school is hoping will die in a reasonable amount of time. But for me, this is quite the perfect equation. Special donor association = money; money = success in a given field; and, as you may have guessed, I will sell my soul for the right connections. Having been invited because I was awarded both a scholarship and a fellowship, I wanted the quest to turn out profitable. I wasted no time introducing myself and swooning women and talking-up men four times my age. I walked away with three business cards and some great stories. Success was mine.
It was a great day.
-----
Civil procedure lecture interaction of the day:
Professor: She [a female student] is correct.
Professor: [To a male student] What do you care about?
Student: Her assets.
Professor: Why do you care about her assets?
Students: Because they are important...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
On The Hunt - September 19, 2007
Release the hounds. Set loose the beasts of nature. Building a strong resume has begun.
As an unabashed liberal, worker's rights have always been under my radar. I do not necessarily scramble my airborne fleet to attack when an issue of worker's rights invades my airspace, but I generally support and defend the weaker, more minority voice.
As a first-year law student, rare is the chance to get any solid practice in the legal field. Alas, that chance has come, and I am not going to miss the opportunity to summarily change somebody's life by arguing their rights in court - however, this is not your ordinary court; this is probably why 1L's can partake in the fun.
The Unemployment Action Center is the newest guilty pleasure I am enabled to undertake. It is a guilty pleasure because I do not want to go into this field, I have no real tie to unemployment law, and I am going to represent somebody in need even though I haven't ever stated a case in front of a judge before. This is exciting.
The UAC is "a non-profit corporation that provides free representation to people claiming unemployment benefits." People need representation, but cannot always afford it. And, "under federal law" these persons seeking benefits are guaranteed such if they lost their job "through no fault of their own". I will be trained to represent a "claimant" at a hearing, where I will have researched the law, giving me the tools to be able to direct, cross-examine and argue the client's case to a judge.
Other members chapters of the UAC are Columbia, Fordham, NYU and Yeshiva schools of law.
I have to sit through a four-plus hour training on a Sunday so that employment and Insurance laws can be properly shoved into the cavernous venue known as my brain. I walk in with no knowledge, they train me in the pertinent laws and how to interview a client, and then they give me a client. This is a quick progression.
I have a grip of courtroom knowledge, but not enough to actually be of any effect. I have watched informal plea-bargaining. I was given the opportunity, most likely by accident, to write briefs, file motions, interview witnesses and access and conceptualize evidence. I have done legal research, been on a first name basis with bailiffs, court reporters and court clerks. Judges have known me by name and counseled me on schooling. I have sat in court, watched somebody be sentenced to death, and even changed the course of a case. My home-county District Attorney knows me and wrote letters of recommendation for law school. I have had some experience in the field, but to be trusted by the school to do right by my client who has entrusted me with effecting the outcome of their case is almost unreasonable.
I want to build my resume. I want to be a viable candidate for premier clerkship opportunities. I want people to take notice of who I am and what I have the potential to become.
Hopefully undertaking this experience will solidify my passion for courtroom advocacy.
In other news, I attended the Jewish Law Student Association meeting today, and joined Phi Alpha Delta (the Law Fraternity). I intend to join the Criminal Law Society and take part in the Mock Trial Enrichment Program, an activity that involves attending fifth-grade classes and teaching them law and procedure with the culminating activity being a mock-trial. Apparently it is a very successful program that enables the learning of rights by these kids which I believe is very valuable.
No, Mom. I am not over-extending myself. Attending meetings at school does not take much time away from my over-packed life. I am involving myself in the legal community in a way that will take little time but will yield enormous benefits. Go team!
Legal, but not English term of the day: "substitutionary"
As an unabashed liberal, worker's rights have always been under my radar. I do not necessarily scramble my airborne fleet to attack when an issue of worker's rights invades my airspace, but I generally support and defend the weaker, more minority voice.
As a first-year law student, rare is the chance to get any solid practice in the legal field. Alas, that chance has come, and I am not going to miss the opportunity to summarily change somebody's life by arguing their rights in court - however, this is not your ordinary court; this is probably why 1L's can partake in the fun.
The Unemployment Action Center is the newest guilty pleasure I am enabled to undertake. It is a guilty pleasure because I do not want to go into this field, I have no real tie to unemployment law, and I am going to represent somebody in need even though I haven't ever stated a case in front of a judge before. This is exciting.
The UAC is "a non-profit corporation that provides free representation to people claiming unemployment benefits." People need representation, but cannot always afford it. And, "under federal law" these persons seeking benefits are guaranteed such if they lost their job "through no fault of their own". I will be trained to represent a "claimant" at a hearing, where I will have researched the law, giving me the tools to be able to direct, cross-examine and argue the client's case to a judge.
Other members chapters of the UAC are Columbia, Fordham, NYU and Yeshiva schools of law.
I have to sit through a four-plus hour training on a Sunday so that employment and Insurance laws can be properly shoved into the cavernous venue known as my brain. I walk in with no knowledge, they train me in the pertinent laws and how to interview a client, and then they give me a client. This is a quick progression.
I have a grip of courtroom knowledge, but not enough to actually be of any effect. I have watched informal plea-bargaining. I was given the opportunity, most likely by accident, to write briefs, file motions, interview witnesses and access and conceptualize evidence. I have done legal research, been on a first name basis with bailiffs, court reporters and court clerks. Judges have known me by name and counseled me on schooling. I have sat in court, watched somebody be sentenced to death, and even changed the course of a case. My home-county District Attorney knows me and wrote letters of recommendation for law school. I have had some experience in the field, but to be trusted by the school to do right by my client who has entrusted me with effecting the outcome of their case is almost unreasonable.
I want to build my resume. I want to be a viable candidate for premier clerkship opportunities. I want people to take notice of who I am and what I have the potential to become.
Hopefully undertaking this experience will solidify my passion for courtroom advocacy.
In other news, I attended the Jewish Law Student Association meeting today, and joined Phi Alpha Delta (the Law Fraternity). I intend to join the Criminal Law Society and take part in the Mock Trial Enrichment Program, an activity that involves attending fifth-grade classes and teaching them law and procedure with the culminating activity being a mock-trial. Apparently it is a very successful program that enables the learning of rights by these kids which I believe is very valuable.
No, Mom. I am not over-extending myself. Attending meetings at school does not take much time away from my over-packed life. I am involving myself in the legal community in a way that will take little time but will yield enormous benefits. Go team!
Legal, but not English term of the day: "substitutionary"
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Supporting Ascendancy - September 18, 2007
If your family is the framework of your soul, then your friends are the nails, or, perhaps, the aluminum siding.
I have had friends come and go - quite frequently - but a few have stayed. These few are the ones who my kids will refer to as their Uncles and Aunts. Some will become doctors, other renowned directors, and even a fellow attorney or two.
I cannot explain how it happened, but I was bound with two of my peers, though younger in age, almost entirely overnight. I am not bad at making friends; I am not good at making friends that are lasting. But, somehow I found these two and I am proud of who we all are and who we will become. We have all accomplished a lot and have been a source of strength and support for each other. Of the few close friends - all of these people know they hold this role - these two have entered into a support system and a friendship-bordering-family that I have come to rely upon.
The three of us created our own brotherhood that has come to stand for the merits and moral characteristics we possess. Each of us brings something unique to our brotherhood; we each represent something that the other two seemingly strive to attain. In short, we push each other to be the best we can be, and in doing so are quite the handful.
One of us is the go-getter. He strives to be the best at everything he does, be it in an academic, athletic or extra-curricular setting. He wants the best so that he can be the best. He role-models high-quality achievement and tenacity.
The next person is the dreamer and philosopher. He continually provides words of encouragement, and has an anecdote for any occasion. He is looked up to by many, and has gained the respect of more. His catch-phrases and abnormally interesting speech patterns make him the perfect psychologist. He role-models positive attitude, inspiring genius and service to others.
The third of the group is easy-going, funny, and a closet "brainiac". He knows what he wants and will take any avenue to get there, even if the avenue is not as glamorous as that which he imagined. He is the one who could easily live in the woods, secluded from public - the constant optimist (who will gladly take a golf-ball in the back for a friend). He role-models ingenuity, fun and resilience.
We are a proverbial tri-force. We balance each other out - almost too well. Each supports the next; we are more like brothers than anything else.
But, it is hard to power the tri-force when one is not near the others. Plans were made that were rumored, quite literally, across the nation. But, as we all know, nothing goes according to plan.
I am worried that either (1) some trials are not understood completely or (2)absence does not make anything grow fonder. Distance is an obstacle - a test - that is meant to be overcome. Taking the next step in life, be it law or film school, cannot get in the way of the strongest relationship. The ideals by which our mini-brotherhood is bound does not rely upon a certain proximity or an equality in life-stages.
Such relationships are made to last. A title is not necessary, especially when we attempt to accomplish ascendancy to new stages in our lives.
My friends have deflected much of my stress and have been a major source of support in my life, especially in the last few years. I am just starting to find those who will be my support throughout the next three years of law school. I only hope they will be a force that challenges and pushes me to be the best, as so many of my friends have.
Law school is my stage. The friendships and undiminished support in the three-letter organization has been enabling.
I am a member for life.
I have had friends come and go - quite frequently - but a few have stayed. These few are the ones who my kids will refer to as their Uncles and Aunts. Some will become doctors, other renowned directors, and even a fellow attorney or two.
I cannot explain how it happened, but I was bound with two of my peers, though younger in age, almost entirely overnight. I am not bad at making friends; I am not good at making friends that are lasting. But, somehow I found these two and I am proud of who we all are and who we will become. We have all accomplished a lot and have been a source of strength and support for each other. Of the few close friends - all of these people know they hold this role - these two have entered into a support system and a friendship-bordering-family that I have come to rely upon.
The three of us created our own brotherhood that has come to stand for the merits and moral characteristics we possess. Each of us brings something unique to our brotherhood; we each represent something that the other two seemingly strive to attain. In short, we push each other to be the best we can be, and in doing so are quite the handful.
One of us is the go-getter. He strives to be the best at everything he does, be it in an academic, athletic or extra-curricular setting. He wants the best so that he can be the best. He role-models high-quality achievement and tenacity.
The next person is the dreamer and philosopher. He continually provides words of encouragement, and has an anecdote for any occasion. He is looked up to by many, and has gained the respect of more. His catch-phrases and abnormally interesting speech patterns make him the perfect psychologist. He role-models positive attitude, inspiring genius and service to others.
The third of the group is easy-going, funny, and a closet "brainiac". He knows what he wants and will take any avenue to get there, even if the avenue is not as glamorous as that which he imagined. He is the one who could easily live in the woods, secluded from public - the constant optimist (who will gladly take a golf-ball in the back for a friend). He role-models ingenuity, fun and resilience.
We are a proverbial tri-force. We balance each other out - almost too well. Each supports the next; we are more like brothers than anything else.
But, it is hard to power the tri-force when one is not near the others. Plans were made that were rumored, quite literally, across the nation. But, as we all know, nothing goes according to plan.
I am worried that either (1) some trials are not understood completely or (2)absence does not make anything grow fonder. Distance is an obstacle - a test - that is meant to be overcome. Taking the next step in life, be it law or film school, cannot get in the way of the strongest relationship. The ideals by which our mini-brotherhood is bound does not rely upon a certain proximity or an equality in life-stages.
Such relationships are made to last. A title is not necessary, especially when we attempt to accomplish ascendancy to new stages in our lives.
My friends have deflected much of my stress and have been a major source of support in my life, especially in the last few years. I am just starting to find those who will be my support throughout the next three years of law school. I only hope they will be a force that challenges and pushes me to be the best, as so many of my friends have.
Law school is my stage. The friendships and undiminished support in the three-letter organization has been enabling.
I am a member for life.
Monday, September 17, 2007
The Wisdom (Teeth) - September 17, 2007
I have a very high tolerance for pain. After years of being put in positions that are not human in wrestling, and surviving (yes, it is surviving) two bouts with kidney stones, I am able to classify my pain threshold as being superhuman. When you experience the joy of stone birth, that fact alone places you among the best of the best.
The removal of my wisdom teeth has put me through an all-new type of pain. The four teeth has been a pain in the face -- the proverbial splinter to my function. For only the second time in my schooling existence, I was not able to sleep all night. Although both times have occurred in my law school tenure, the first time did not consist of fetal-position-making pain or gallons of salt-water.
I was fine in the post-operation phase. Healing and relative discomfort was to be expected with surgery. I dealt with such side-effects as swelling and the like on my road trip across the United States with my father. I was not able to eat solid food for quite some time, my bleeding was profuse, and my head felt like it needed to explode. These feelings, however, went away nearly two weeks after the surgery.
The pain, like everything else bad in my life, has come back.
Anybody close to me will attest to my disdain for medication and pain-relievers. So, it is not in character to drug myself.
I drugged myself this morning, and sat in discomfort in Contracts and Torts.
Though I was in a multi-drugged state-of-mind, I was able to bring out the profound in me in Contracts, summarily shutting down counter-arguments and changing the direction of conversation in class. For some reason, I just "get" contracts. Who knew?
I have an emergency appointment with an oral surgeon in Long Island tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Could my timing be any better?
Civil Procedure Tongue Twister of the Day: "Tactical Tips"
The removal of my wisdom teeth has put me through an all-new type of pain. The four teeth has been a pain in the face -- the proverbial splinter to my function. For only the second time in my schooling existence, I was not able to sleep all night. Although both times have occurred in my law school tenure, the first time did not consist of fetal-position-making pain or gallons of salt-water.
I was fine in the post-operation phase. Healing and relative discomfort was to be expected with surgery. I dealt with such side-effects as swelling and the like on my road trip across the United States with my father. I was not able to eat solid food for quite some time, my bleeding was profuse, and my head felt like it needed to explode. These feelings, however, went away nearly two weeks after the surgery.
The pain, like everything else bad in my life, has come back.
Anybody close to me will attest to my disdain for medication and pain-relievers. So, it is not in character to drug myself.
I drugged myself this morning, and sat in discomfort in Contracts and Torts.
Though I was in a multi-drugged state-of-mind, I was able to bring out the profound in me in Contracts, summarily shutting down counter-arguments and changing the direction of conversation in class. For some reason, I just "get" contracts. Who knew?
I have an emergency appointment with an oral surgeon in Long Island tomorrow. Wish me luck.
Could my timing be any better?
Civil Procedure Tongue Twister of the Day: "Tactical Tips"
Sunday, September 16, 2007
One For The Road - September 13-16, 2007
This week and weekend, or the better part of it, was spent away from my domicile in Long Island. Everybody needs family, regardless of their location, and I found my family-away-from-family. Like the one I am used to, there is a definite gender mismatch with my roommates family. However, there is a slight difference: I am used to a male dominated family, where the makeup is mainly boys with two girls; the New York extension I joined, has only two boys, and a lot of estrogen. "Overwhelming" merely scratches the surface of initial responses I entertained.
I consumed dinner in gargantuan proportions during the three days of festivities. Each night was hosted at a different house, and each was equally impressive in terms of the selection of food. I think I may have gained back the pounds of body fat I lost since the beginning of the school year.
Shul was cool as well. The Rabbi gave a very impressive non-political, political sermon about Israel and Zionism, where he even scolded members of the congregation who clapped during his speech. He said that this issue is not one that is deserving of claps, it is a Jew's duty to stand for what is right and raise your voice against what is wrong. The synagogue had a choir that was very gospel in nature. I was very turned off by this notion: if I wanted to hear a chamber choir, I would attend church.
The second day of attendance at Shul was very long, indeed. I have spent a lot of time in religious observance before, but two consecutive days of Hebrew is tough. I am happy I spent the time dedicated to something I so strongly believe. Plus, being surrounded by like-minded people with a similar background is always a positive. Where there is Shul, there are single Jewish women. Does it get any better?
I also enjoyed the comfort of a basement for the first time. They are as cold and moist as I imagined, though I slept like a bear. Sleeping in a windowless room is not good for the senses. I could dream for hours.
During this time, school-work was always on my mind. I was happy to know that I was very far ahead of my scheduled work, but was not able to go back to retake my notes, a I have become accustomed.
I am still enjoying the learning process, as every page is an introduction to something new, but I am not used to working so hard for something.
Alas, that too shall pass. I cannot wait for three years from now, when I am taking on real cases, and actually making a difference in some way. Three years is a long time. I hope I make it.
I consumed dinner in gargantuan proportions during the three days of festivities. Each night was hosted at a different house, and each was equally impressive in terms of the selection of food. I think I may have gained back the pounds of body fat I lost since the beginning of the school year.
Shul was cool as well. The Rabbi gave a very impressive non-political, political sermon about Israel and Zionism, where he even scolded members of the congregation who clapped during his speech. He said that this issue is not one that is deserving of claps, it is a Jew's duty to stand for what is right and raise your voice against what is wrong. The synagogue had a choir that was very gospel in nature. I was very turned off by this notion: if I wanted to hear a chamber choir, I would attend church.
The second day of attendance at Shul was very long, indeed. I have spent a lot of time in religious observance before, but two consecutive days of Hebrew is tough. I am happy I spent the time dedicated to something I so strongly believe. Plus, being surrounded by like-minded people with a similar background is always a positive. Where there is Shul, there are single Jewish women. Does it get any better?
I also enjoyed the comfort of a basement for the first time. They are as cold and moist as I imagined, though I slept like a bear. Sleeping in a windowless room is not good for the senses. I could dream for hours.
During this time, school-work was always on my mind. I was happy to know that I was very far ahead of my scheduled work, but was not able to go back to retake my notes, a I have become accustomed.
I am still enjoying the learning process, as every page is an introduction to something new, but I am not used to working so hard for something.
Alas, that too shall pass. I cannot wait for three years from now, when I am taking on real cases, and actually making a difference in some way. Three years is a long time. I hope I make it.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Not Just Another Day - September 11, 2007
Like the rest of the nation, I too must report on my September 11 experience. Having remained fairly removed from the tragedy that hit the nation six years ago, I had not pondered what being in the area of the attacks would mean for me. I had the opportunity to watch as my peers all mourned losses. I watched in silence as the television reported, non-stop, the intricacies of the remembrance gatherings around New York. I listened intently to my friends discussing those they had lost, and what should and should not have happened - this had its more amusing moments, where, with levity, I smirked and chuckled as my law student friends discussed engineering, surveying and building mechanics.
I realize that the West Coast is on the other side of the nation, but I did not previously realize how somber the event is, both now and when it happened. Of course, we realized how major this was and that we were witnessing a major event in world and American history, but very few felt the consequences of the terrorism back at home. That all changed today. New Yorkers do have feelings, you just have to look carefully for them.
In other news, if I hear one more stupid question, either my head will explode or my book will go flying across the room. I was once told that there are no stupid questions, only stupid people, but like so many other events of my short legal education thus far, my peers manage to prove me wrong. You can be a stupid person and outdo your stupidity by asking a stupid question. As the stupidity continues for 45 minutes, the effects are, in a word: bad.
Luckily, I was not called on first today. Perhaps I did not stick out far enough, or my name had a smudge on it, but for whatever reason, I was able to simply take notes. I love to participate, but I love to learn as well. Being badgered by a professor does not help my learning. But, alas, tomorrow is coming soon. I feel a new chance to be harassed becoming renewed each minute.
Also, my willingness to get out of the library or house is becoming more relaxed. I went to dinner with the friends with whom I am quickly becoming close. They are a lively bunch who are usually on the prowl for a little fun. Their work ethic is not too bad either. We all went to dinner tonight, much to my chagrin, at a Mexican restaurant. There is little to causing severe disappointment, because, let's face it, Mexican food does not get any better than Mexico and California. The food was relatively good for its location, so I cannot complain.
I am celebrating Rosh Hashanah with my roommate and her family. We are traveling to her parent's house from tomorrow afternoon until Saturday night. I am looking forward to being a part of a family atmosphere once again. I am also looking forward to attending Shul, as it has been a long while. The drive will take two hours. Pray the dog does not pee on me during the commute.
To enjoy some much needed sleep... only to hit the alarm every five minutes for a one-hour period.
This is life.
I realize that the West Coast is on the other side of the nation, but I did not previously realize how somber the event is, both now and when it happened. Of course, we realized how major this was and that we were witnessing a major event in world and American history, but very few felt the consequences of the terrorism back at home. That all changed today. New Yorkers do have feelings, you just have to look carefully for them.
In other news, if I hear one more stupid question, either my head will explode or my book will go flying across the room. I was once told that there are no stupid questions, only stupid people, but like so many other events of my short legal education thus far, my peers manage to prove me wrong. You can be a stupid person and outdo your stupidity by asking a stupid question. As the stupidity continues for 45 minutes, the effects are, in a word: bad.
Luckily, I was not called on first today. Perhaps I did not stick out far enough, or my name had a smudge on it, but for whatever reason, I was able to simply take notes. I love to participate, but I love to learn as well. Being badgered by a professor does not help my learning. But, alas, tomorrow is coming soon. I feel a new chance to be harassed becoming renewed each minute.
Also, my willingness to get out of the library or house is becoming more relaxed. I went to dinner with the friends with whom I am quickly becoming close. They are a lively bunch who are usually on the prowl for a little fun. Their work ethic is not too bad either. We all went to dinner tonight, much to my chagrin, at a Mexican restaurant. There is little to causing severe disappointment, because, let's face it, Mexican food does not get any better than Mexico and California. The food was relatively good for its location, so I cannot complain.
I am celebrating Rosh Hashanah with my roommate and her family. We are traveling to her parent's house from tomorrow afternoon until Saturday night. I am looking forward to being a part of a family atmosphere once again. I am also looking forward to attending Shul, as it has been a long while. The drive will take two hours. Pray the dog does not pee on me during the commute.
To enjoy some much needed sleep... only to hit the alarm every five minutes for a one-hour period.
This is life.
Monday, September 10, 2007
As Luck Would Have It - September 10, 2007
There are rare occurrences - like my being called first out of 130 students in criminal law - that you have to brush off as an extraordinary, singular occurrence. The courageous must be on to the rest of their lives - lingering only compounds the problem.
Only one student in each section gets to experience the exhilaration of first when it comes to the selection of names from a list of hundreds. I enjoyed that experience, as is very well known to all who were enabled the chance to witness the plight.
To be the first student in other classes after you have seen it done is not nearly as horrifying, but scary all the same. My contracts professor - the bow tie - decided to split our class into five groups. Each group will be at his beckoning call to answer questions at an unspecified class. He read over the groups, and in a decided hurry, got down to business. My group was the last group, so I rested easier knowing that there would be another victim to whom the tormentings of the professor would be directed. Well, I was wrong. He decided that my group would go first.
Having made the announcement that the five of us should be ready, I sat up straight and hung on his every word, which is difficult because this is contracts. As we got underway, he slowly paced across the room. From one end to another he strutted, speaking of reliance, expectancy and restitution. As he stepped to his podium to peruse his list of victims - namely the persons in my group - my blood rushed to my feet, leaving my brain numb. What else was I to expect? The chances of being his first pick in the class were low. No student with any ounce of luck on their side can fall victim to the same trap twice.
The luck I have is, apparently, not that of a student. No, it is the luck equal to that jokingly thrown around my family for decades. My family name strikes again. In that split-second, anecdotes my family relayed to each other of being in a crowd of 1000 and becoming the only person caught and arrested swirled through my bloodless head.
This was a decisive moment in my life. I would never have the opportunity to be the first to do anything in my life again. I would never again, nonetheless, be the first to be first twice.
My name was called.
Only one student in each section gets to experience the exhilaration of first when it comes to the selection of names from a list of hundreds. I enjoyed that experience, as is very well known to all who were enabled the chance to witness the plight.
To be the first student in other classes after you have seen it done is not nearly as horrifying, but scary all the same. My contracts professor - the bow tie - decided to split our class into five groups. Each group will be at his beckoning call to answer questions at an unspecified class. He read over the groups, and in a decided hurry, got down to business. My group was the last group, so I rested easier knowing that there would be another victim to whom the tormentings of the professor would be directed. Well, I was wrong. He decided that my group would go first.
Having made the announcement that the five of us should be ready, I sat up straight and hung on his every word, which is difficult because this is contracts. As we got underway, he slowly paced across the room. From one end to another he strutted, speaking of reliance, expectancy and restitution. As he stepped to his podium to peruse his list of victims - namely the persons in my group - my blood rushed to my feet, leaving my brain numb. What else was I to expect? The chances of being his first pick in the class were low. No student with any ounce of luck on their side can fall victim to the same trap twice.
The luck I have is, apparently, not that of a student. No, it is the luck equal to that jokingly thrown around my family for decades. My family name strikes again. In that split-second, anecdotes my family relayed to each other of being in a crowd of 1000 and becoming the only person caught and arrested swirled through my bloodless head.
This was a decisive moment in my life. I would never have the opportunity to be the first to do anything in my life again. I would never again, nonetheless, be the first to be first twice.
My name was called.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Mothers, A Network Support - September 7, 2007
I overheard somebody complaining about having to go to dinner with his mother. Sometimes, people do not understand how well-off they are. As far as I can tell, a great majority of the people at this school are New York natives, most of whom grew up less than two hours from Hofstra. Their adaptation to law school life is not easy by any measure, but they are only dealing with the transition from work or undergrad to law school.
I, on the other hand, with a select selection of my peers, are having to deal with a host of problems of our own. Not only is the actual schooling transition difficult, but we are dealing with the geographical transition in addition. There is much separation anxiety for students, like myself, who are severed from the families to which we have learned to find our support in times of most need(read: law school).
When your family is not only a crutch, but a wheelchair - something you don't only lean on, but which you need and rely - moving to the opposite end of the country is not the greatest idea. Luckily, I am a seasoned professional when it comes to having ideas that are not so great.
The following is a list of some of the multitudes of failed ideas I have had while in law school (the last two weeks):
1) Thinking that all the ideas in the preamble were actually worthy of notice, not just the notion of freedom and liberty. Apparently, in a Democratic Republic, we have no duty to help one another and protect others in a time of need. What was I thinking trying to persuade my professor of such ideals! Establishing justice, ensuring domestic tranquility, providing for the common defense and promoting the general welfare are secondary to liberty and freedom of choice; in other words, we can choose to forget the first four clauses of the Constitution. Welcome to New York reasoning.
2) Trying to compare a dog to a cockroach or spider in terms of actually being a deadly weapon, or not. I definitely left that out of my paper.
3) Studying in the library past 11:30PM.
4) Studying in the library on a Saturday.
5) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan.
6) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan who, in a drunken state, attempts to tell you that USC football is over-rated every season.
7) Laughing at that statement, thus ending civility. Then asking how his team's season is doing. It is at this point that you remind him that you may have been the only person not from Appalachian State who was witnessed (by another Michigan alum at Hofstra, nonetheless) as saying that Appalachian State was going to beat Michigan resulting in the biggest upset of an over-rated, ranked team in NCAA football history. You then bring up their last three games -- all losses.
8) Continuing the conversation when you realize no good can come of it…
Anyhow, the point is this: When your success is based on the interaction with those who have had incredible impacts on your life -- your mother and father, siblings, friends, and some of those persons who have molded you in some way as a role model -- even though you did not see or talk to them regularly, merely knowing that you had the ability to see them if needed, or talk to them at will, your success is heightened. Moving to a geographically secluded area from these people makes life unnecessarily difficult, especially when you could use the support the most.
I have begun to contact one person new each day so that my communications are spread around, but there are still those people with whom I need daily contact. I have found myself wanting to call my parents sometimes two and three times-a-day. In certain cases, I need this contact remain stable.
My failed idea - Thinking that all interaction with my network of support would be the same regardless of where I lived. In reality, knowing that you can see certain people any time you wish is as much a crutch as the communication.
I realized, upon receipt last-night, that I was given my first hug while in New York. Actually taking note of an activity that is very benign in our culture carries much meaning. I guess I need to find a web of support in this geographic area.
I want dinner with my mother.
I, on the other hand, with a select selection of my peers, are having to deal with a host of problems of our own. Not only is the actual schooling transition difficult, but we are dealing with the geographical transition in addition. There is much separation anxiety for students, like myself, who are severed from the families to which we have learned to find our support in times of most need(read: law school).
When your family is not only a crutch, but a wheelchair - something you don't only lean on, but which you need and rely - moving to the opposite end of the country is not the greatest idea. Luckily, I am a seasoned professional when it comes to having ideas that are not so great.
The following is a list of some of the multitudes of failed ideas I have had while in law school (the last two weeks):
1) Thinking that all the ideas in the preamble were actually worthy of notice, not just the notion of freedom and liberty. Apparently, in a Democratic Republic, we have no duty to help one another and protect others in a time of need. What was I thinking trying to persuade my professor of such ideals! Establishing justice, ensuring domestic tranquility, providing for the common defense and promoting the general welfare are secondary to liberty and freedom of choice; in other words, we can choose to forget the first four clauses of the Constitution. Welcome to New York reasoning.
2) Trying to compare a dog to a cockroach or spider in terms of actually being a deadly weapon, or not. I definitely left that out of my paper.
3) Studying in the library past 11:30PM.
4) Studying in the library on a Saturday.
5) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan.
6) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan who, in a drunken state, attempts to tell you that USC football is over-rated every season.
7) Laughing at that statement, thus ending civility. Then asking how his team's season is doing. It is at this point that you remind him that you may have been the only person not from Appalachian State who was witnessed (by another Michigan alum at Hofstra, nonetheless) as saying that Appalachian State was going to beat Michigan resulting in the biggest upset of an over-rated, ranked team in NCAA football history. You then bring up their last three games -- all losses.
8) Continuing the conversation when you realize no good can come of it…
Anyhow, the point is this: When your success is based on the interaction with those who have had incredible impacts on your life -- your mother and father, siblings, friends, and some of those persons who have molded you in some way as a role model -- even though you did not see or talk to them regularly, merely knowing that you had the ability to see them if needed, or talk to them at will, your success is heightened. Moving to a geographically secluded area from these people makes life unnecessarily difficult, especially when you could use the support the most.
I have begun to contact one person new each day so that my communications are spread around, but there are still those people with whom I need daily contact. I have found myself wanting to call my parents sometimes two and three times-a-day. In certain cases, I need this contact remain stable.
My failed idea - Thinking that all interaction with my network of support would be the same regardless of where I lived. In reality, knowing that you can see certain people any time you wish is as much a crutch as the communication.
I realized, upon receipt last-night, that I was given my first hug while in New York. Actually taking note of an activity that is very benign in our culture carries much meaning. I guess I need to find a web of support in this geographic area.
I want dinner with my mother.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Same Old, I'm Told - September 6, 2007
I am not a stranger to danger. Nay! I lived in South Los Angeles. I fell asleep to the sound of sirens, gun-shots and screams. I was not ever scared in that locale.
My manliness was put to the test: could I handle Hofstra University at night. Ironically, the parking lots that are usually packed with vehicles was without life. Perhaps I was less scared than I was worried. But the worry was not for fear of injury. I was worried that somebody would take my computer. I was not upset at the thoughts that my costly piece of master-made electronics could be taken; I was horrified at the thought of having the files on my computer stolen.
I pictured myself begging the would-be mugger for a quick minute to email myself my school work, promising that he could have my laptop when I was done. I am sick.
I did not sleep at all last night. Being in a conscious state of thought is not healthy when done for 48 hours,consecutively. My work is getting done, though I cannot gauge the quality of my learning, because my mind is not in a stage of being able to think properly. I am a self-defeating thinker.
In addition to having read and studied more in the past week than I did for the relative majority of my undergraduate education, but I set a new record of the same calibur. In one sitting, in one night, I spent more time in the library than I did in all of my undergrad. Yesterday was successful.
I was in the zone. Nothing could stop me. I would look down for what seemed like a few minutes, and the next thing I would see is the passing of four, then five, then over seven hours. Being the very last person to leave the library was not something I would have been designated prior to the start of law school. It seems I have taken on a whole new persona, and I almost like it.
I am also finding that, although I am not putting any conscious effort into befriending people, I am getting along with everybody. If a person sits next to me once, they usually make a point of talking to me in the future. It is nice to have finally molded myself into somebody that is "that guy" who can be enjoyed by any number of persons, regardless of their personalities. It is a shame I do not have more time to be social.
Classes today were of no special nature. It was the same "watch-your-peers-get-called-on-at-random and made-to-feel-dumb" day that has been occurring increasingly more now that school is underway in full force. When the common day is employed, common sense does not play an active role in the thought processes of many of the students at school. I am not saying that I act with common sense at all times, but I attempt to think things through before I ridicule myself in from of 130 other persons.
Some day, when I run the world, common sense will actually be common.
----
Each day is made easier knowing that my family and friends are offering their support in my undertaking. They can take my life, but they can never take my will. Even in my financial situation, law school is not free.
My manliness was put to the test: could I handle Hofstra University at night. Ironically, the parking lots that are usually packed with vehicles was without life. Perhaps I was less scared than I was worried. But the worry was not for fear of injury. I was worried that somebody would take my computer. I was not upset at the thoughts that my costly piece of master-made electronics could be taken; I was horrified at the thought of having the files on my computer stolen.
I pictured myself begging the would-be mugger for a quick minute to email myself my school work, promising that he could have my laptop when I was done. I am sick.
I did not sleep at all last night. Being in a conscious state of thought is not healthy when done for 48 hours,consecutively. My work is getting done, though I cannot gauge the quality of my learning, because my mind is not in a stage of being able to think properly. I am a self-defeating thinker.
In addition to having read and studied more in the past week than I did for the relative majority of my undergraduate education, but I set a new record of the same calibur. In one sitting, in one night, I spent more time in the library than I did in all of my undergrad. Yesterday was successful.
I was in the zone. Nothing could stop me. I would look down for what seemed like a few minutes, and the next thing I would see is the passing of four, then five, then over seven hours. Being the very last person to leave the library was not something I would have been designated prior to the start of law school. It seems I have taken on a whole new persona, and I almost like it.
I am also finding that, although I am not putting any conscious effort into befriending people, I am getting along with everybody. If a person sits next to me once, they usually make a point of talking to me in the future. It is nice to have finally molded myself into somebody that is "that guy" who can be enjoyed by any number of persons, regardless of their personalities. It is a shame I do not have more time to be social.
Classes today were of no special nature. It was the same "watch-your-peers-get-called-on-at-random and made-to-feel-dumb" day that has been occurring increasingly more now that school is underway in full force. When the common day is employed, common sense does not play an active role in the thought processes of many of the students at school. I am not saying that I act with common sense at all times, but I attempt to think things through before I ridicule myself in from of 130 other persons.
Some day, when I run the world, common sense will actually be common.
----
Each day is made easier knowing that my family and friends are offering their support in my undertaking. They can take my life, but they can never take my will. Even in my financial situation, law school is not free.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Fortunatus Realizations - September 5, 2007
This is a long one, but it is my favorite yet...
-----
I have acquired an old napless hat which had the power of transporting me to any place I desire. My hat is taking me to those places most of my peers would rather not travel.
I was engaged by very few Undergraduate classes, namely those that challenged my beliefs or made me explore subjects that were otherwise unfamiliar but very influential in my life. These classes were those that I had, in many cases, walked into with a very apprehensive attitude. Religion as a Polemic, Urban Politics, Religion and Health, and (somehow) Journalism found its way onto my radar.
I have not before been engaged in schooling that is interesting in totality. Professional school (or Graduate School) is the fruit years of my efforts. Though my chosen field and path has changed, the goal has been the same since third grade: to be able to launch a career having received a quality education. First piloting multi-million dollar aircraft dropped off the radar followed by the flat-lined dream of attending medical school to pursue sports' medicine (which I had quite a knack for in high school). Law I believe, however, has very deep roots dating back as far as I can remember.
I was pawned-off on my father that day, perhaps, because my mother was working or my brothers had better things to do than watch me. Regardless, the experience I gained with my father would be the first of many, but made me proud. Having dressed myself in the appropriate accoutrement (slacks, a dress shirt, black shoes and my best clip-on tie) I exited the car and promptly attended to the duties I had so reliantly been entrusted: the transportation of my father's briefcase into the court house.
As my Knight would greet other attorneys, I was introduced as his Squire. I was proud to be lugging this box of sliced tree. My father, dragging me along to court, was probably encouraged by the fact that I was of some use, but, more importantly, this was my first role in the legal world of which I have a memory.
My competitive nature is so heightened, as so many people who have only met me would concur, that I have planned for my career since third grade. Having actual plans for your life is not usual for an eight-year-old. I knew what I needed to do to get myself into the necessary classes that would propel me to my chosen college, which, in turn, would set me up for career success.
In addition, I was forever the resume' builder. My parents once told me that they would boast that, by Middle School, I had somehow filled a resume' three pages in length. It occurs to me that it was impressive at the time to even have a resume', but that was just my planning.
In accordance, I have studied more in the last two weeks than my entire undergraduate education combined (minus the writing of my theses). I realize that this work is all-for-nothing if I am not engaged in my work, completely. I want to be a great attorney, and reaching the standard of "good" is hard enough in itself.
Like any other child with a set of amazing parents, I strive to be like my mother and father. Having chosen the profession of my father, it follows that he is the gold-standard of what I wish to be. So, with his actions and words stored in my head, I entered my studies. I constantly remind myself of things said in passing, perhaps on the way to a meeting or a sports practice. I remember him explaining two distinct measures of his professional career, however minute they may be in the grand scheme.
The first is his love of pursuing legal malpractice cases, once stating that there is nothing better than suing bad attorneys. I once believed that he just disliked lawyers who were careless (or worse) in the performance of their duties. I now realize that the profession is tainted by the few bad attorneys who get the attention, while the good attorneys are just par for the course. You do not make the news if you do as you should, you are a headline for being 8-strokes over. I want to be Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson; they always make the cut, and usually are at the top of their game.
The second lesson in life was the lack of an attorney friends in my father's Rolodex. It is seemingly awkward that he is without a friend in his given profession. But, I am understanding increasingly more why it was such. I am finding myself to be the "black sheep" of the group I befriended. The persons with whom I associate constantly ask me why I study so much. I am called up-tight, and was told today that other than my consumption of oats (and other eating habits, read: vegetarian), I do not fit the California stereotype. I inquired what said stereotype entailed and was told that I need to surf, be more optimistic and less "uptight". I told them that the surfing part is correct, but that they obviously do not know me.
I guess I just have a different set of priorities: I enjoy going to bed before 4am, I like to be able to produce quality work, and I value the investment of being without a life during law school in exchange for a comfortable life for the remaining years I live (if law school does not kill me first).
I guess it is characteristic of me to invest all my time in everything I undertake. Having been given a very clean slate, (removing the sports, clubs, work and other extra-curricular ventures) the only thing I have is school. And, more than anything, it has become a priority for me. Whether others understand me matters not.
Could have I foreseen my present state of affairs? Such a thought would have been laughable. But, it is time for this Squire to draw the sword from the stone, and become a knight. My goals have forever been the same. I want to do the best and be the best, and that takes a lot of work.
So, with Fortunatus' hat I travel to the world of law, totally immersing myself in the field of lawyering, with the hopes of learning a thing or two. Many obstacles will I face, but an adventure, nonetheless, this shall be. Whether I travel alone or with my peers is for each of them to decide. I choose the gold-standard, and of no consequence will the thoughts of others be in my quest.
The sword is awaiting removal. But, the sword will only go to he who has earned it. Being "par for the course" is for someone else.
As they say: "If this was easy, they'd call it Med School."
Things I Think About, And Perhaps You Should, Too:
- My parents were married at my age. Whoa!
- I have no idea who is reading this.
- Parking is a problem. Still.
- My criminal law professor actually stated that I was correct after answering a question today. Validation is intensely good.
- I have lost all time and will to befriend new people and, sadly enough, talk to old friends. My life is consumed with books.
- Posting your disdain as a "status" on networking sites can be annoying.
- "Books." This can actually be a state of being.
- If you lay in bed thinking about what you studied while trying to fall asleep, you could actually have better spent such time studying. If you think about the intricacies of the circular nature of that previous statement while you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep, you wasted time that could be better spent thinking about what you could study. -- This is my life.
- Learning new vocabulary that is not really part of the English language, yet is still considered vocabulary is more fun than it sounds. (Tortious, tort-feasor, and my favorite: "trespassory", are among a selection of many.)
- I want to wear a bow-tie to court once.
- Being too lazy to grammar check your writing is not good when you are about to undertake your first legal writing assignment.
- Michelle and I broke out into song before criminal law. The Beatles never sounded so poor.
- I am, apparently, a party-pooper. I wish I could be constipated at this party, but alas, law school has me on a strict fiber-enriched diet of "no life".
-----
I have acquired an old napless hat which had the power of transporting me to any place I desire. My hat is taking me to those places most of my peers would rather not travel.
I was engaged by very few Undergraduate classes, namely those that challenged my beliefs or made me explore subjects that were otherwise unfamiliar but very influential in my life. These classes were those that I had, in many cases, walked into with a very apprehensive attitude. Religion as a Polemic, Urban Politics, Religion and Health, and (somehow) Journalism found its way onto my radar.
I have not before been engaged in schooling that is interesting in totality. Professional school (or Graduate School) is the fruit years of my efforts. Though my chosen field and path has changed, the goal has been the same since third grade: to be able to launch a career having received a quality education. First piloting multi-million dollar aircraft dropped off the radar followed by the flat-lined dream of attending medical school to pursue sports' medicine (which I had quite a knack for in high school). Law I believe, however, has very deep roots dating back as far as I can remember.
I was pawned-off on my father that day, perhaps, because my mother was working or my brothers had better things to do than watch me. Regardless, the experience I gained with my father would be the first of many, but made me proud. Having dressed myself in the appropriate accoutrement (slacks, a dress shirt, black shoes and my best clip-on tie) I exited the car and promptly attended to the duties I had so reliantly been entrusted: the transportation of my father's briefcase into the court house.
As my Knight would greet other attorneys, I was introduced as his Squire. I was proud to be lugging this box of sliced tree. My father, dragging me along to court, was probably encouraged by the fact that I was of some use, but, more importantly, this was my first role in the legal world of which I have a memory.
My competitive nature is so heightened, as so many people who have only met me would concur, that I have planned for my career since third grade. Having actual plans for your life is not usual for an eight-year-old. I knew what I needed to do to get myself into the necessary classes that would propel me to my chosen college, which, in turn, would set me up for career success.
In addition, I was forever the resume' builder. My parents once told me that they would boast that, by Middle School, I had somehow filled a resume' three pages in length. It occurs to me that it was impressive at the time to even have a resume', but that was just my planning.
In accordance, I have studied more in the last two weeks than my entire undergraduate education combined (minus the writing of my theses). I realize that this work is all-for-nothing if I am not engaged in my work, completely. I want to be a great attorney, and reaching the standard of "good" is hard enough in itself.
Like any other child with a set of amazing parents, I strive to be like my mother and father. Having chosen the profession of my father, it follows that he is the gold-standard of what I wish to be. So, with his actions and words stored in my head, I entered my studies. I constantly remind myself of things said in passing, perhaps on the way to a meeting or a sports practice. I remember him explaining two distinct measures of his professional career, however minute they may be in the grand scheme.
The first is his love of pursuing legal malpractice cases, once stating that there is nothing better than suing bad attorneys. I once believed that he just disliked lawyers who were careless (or worse) in the performance of their duties. I now realize that the profession is tainted by the few bad attorneys who get the attention, while the good attorneys are just par for the course. You do not make the news if you do as you should, you are a headline for being 8-strokes over. I want to be Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson; they always make the cut, and usually are at the top of their game.
The second lesson in life was the lack of an attorney friends in my father's Rolodex. It is seemingly awkward that he is without a friend in his given profession. But, I am understanding increasingly more why it was such. I am finding myself to be the "black sheep" of the group I befriended. The persons with whom I associate constantly ask me why I study so much. I am called up-tight, and was told today that other than my consumption of oats (and other eating habits, read: vegetarian), I do not fit the California stereotype. I inquired what said stereotype entailed and was told that I need to surf, be more optimistic and less "uptight". I told them that the surfing part is correct, but that they obviously do not know me.
I guess I just have a different set of priorities: I enjoy going to bed before 4am, I like to be able to produce quality work, and I value the investment of being without a life during law school in exchange for a comfortable life for the remaining years I live (if law school does not kill me first).
I guess it is characteristic of me to invest all my time in everything I undertake. Having been given a very clean slate, (removing the sports, clubs, work and other extra-curricular ventures) the only thing I have is school. And, more than anything, it has become a priority for me. Whether others understand me matters not.
Could have I foreseen my present state of affairs? Such a thought would have been laughable. But, it is time for this Squire to draw the sword from the stone, and become a knight. My goals have forever been the same. I want to do the best and be the best, and that takes a lot of work.
So, with Fortunatus' hat I travel to the world of law, totally immersing myself in the field of lawyering, with the hopes of learning a thing or two. Many obstacles will I face, but an adventure, nonetheless, this shall be. Whether I travel alone or with my peers is for each of them to decide. I choose the gold-standard, and of no consequence will the thoughts of others be in my quest.
The sword is awaiting removal. But, the sword will only go to he who has earned it. Being "par for the course" is for someone else.
As they say: "If this was easy, they'd call it Med School."
Things I Think About, And Perhaps You Should, Too:
- My parents were married at my age. Whoa!
- I have no idea who is reading this.
- Parking is a problem. Still.
- My criminal law professor actually stated that I was correct after answering a question today. Validation is intensely good.
- I have lost all time and will to befriend new people and, sadly enough, talk to old friends. My life is consumed with books.
- Posting your disdain as a "status" on networking sites can be annoying.
- "Books." This can actually be a state of being.
- If you lay in bed thinking about what you studied while trying to fall asleep, you could actually have better spent such time studying. If you think about the intricacies of the circular nature of that previous statement while you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep, you wasted time that could be better spent thinking about what you could study. -- This is my life.
- Learning new vocabulary that is not really part of the English language, yet is still considered vocabulary is more fun than it sounds. (Tortious, tort-feasor, and my favorite: "trespassory", are among a selection of many.)
- I want to wear a bow-tie to court once.
- Being too lazy to grammar check your writing is not good when you are about to undertake your first legal writing assignment.
- Michelle and I broke out into song before criminal law. The Beatles never sounded so poor.
- I am, apparently, a party-pooper. I wish I could be constipated at this party, but alas, law school has me on a strict fiber-enriched diet of "no life".
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
The Score - September 4, 2007
Tuesday is a relatively bad day because of Wednesday. Three classes in one day is enough to drive even the most stable person off the edge. I am not that stable to begin with, so getting ready for Wednesday is a must, and it takes all my effort.
When you think you have a routine down in law school, the establishment throws a curve ball: right at your head. The parking situation is intense. I would gladly pay for a parking permit if I was guaranteed a parking spot somewhere within a half-mile of the law school. I was so far away, that kids in the elementary school were able to laugh at me as I struggled to walk my morning mini-marathon. I was THAT far away. But, had I arrived at the University five minutes later, I would have had to park off campus altogether. This is a very sad situation. I guess that is what I get for being joyous about receiving a parking permit for free. Alas, nothing is free... I have traded in the remaining strength I have left from law school everyday for a parking permit.
Tuesday and Friday is Legal Writing day, and I renew my feelings about the class once again. The environment is welcoming, the teacher is very laid-back but oh-so knowledgeable at the same time. It also helps that some of my peers often make me feel like a genius. The professor slides jokes into each lecture at the most opportune times, generating laughter from each student. She is inviting in her methods and engaging in her lectures. The discussions are not lacking, either.
I also have Civil Procedure on Tuesdays. Like my writing professor, the CivPro Professor is engaging and just plain fun. He, like my criminal law professor, uses the Socratic Method, but in a less judgmental, more opportunistic way. If you get something incorrect, he does not pit another student against you. (Unless you are one of the people I speak about below. In those cases, there is probably somebody ready to take you down.) Everything is a learning experience, and, though highly debated and often proven otherwise, he does not believe in a stupid question from a 1L. But, trust me, I have heard many.
I have taken to raising my hand only when one of my favorite stuck-up (or know-it all) classmates says something unbelievably doltish. I bask in the glory of bringing them back down to earth. I feel especially so, because these are the same people who love to shove other people's mistaken answers in that person's face. Let's face it, this is not Harvard Law. At this school, nobody has room for an ego. Everybody is on the same level. There are no pedestals here.
Not only have I come to terms with my lost social life and my now-diminished pride, but I, with much sadness, add my ego and the remnants of what used to be energy to the list of casualties lost to Law School. Score four for the legal profession. And, all I got was a free parking permit.
When you think you have a routine down in law school, the establishment throws a curve ball: right at your head. The parking situation is intense. I would gladly pay for a parking permit if I was guaranteed a parking spot somewhere within a half-mile of the law school. I was so far away, that kids in the elementary school were able to laugh at me as I struggled to walk my morning mini-marathon. I was THAT far away. But, had I arrived at the University five minutes later, I would have had to park off campus altogether. This is a very sad situation. I guess that is what I get for being joyous about receiving a parking permit for free. Alas, nothing is free... I have traded in the remaining strength I have left from law school everyday for a parking permit.
Tuesday and Friday is Legal Writing day, and I renew my feelings about the class once again. The environment is welcoming, the teacher is very laid-back but oh-so knowledgeable at the same time. It also helps that some of my peers often make me feel like a genius. The professor slides jokes into each lecture at the most opportune times, generating laughter from each student. She is inviting in her methods and engaging in her lectures. The discussions are not lacking, either.
I also have Civil Procedure on Tuesdays. Like my writing professor, the CivPro Professor is engaging and just plain fun. He, like my criminal law professor, uses the Socratic Method, but in a less judgmental, more opportunistic way. If you get something incorrect, he does not pit another student against you. (Unless you are one of the people I speak about below. In those cases, there is probably somebody ready to take you down.) Everything is a learning experience, and, though highly debated and often proven otherwise, he does not believe in a stupid question from a 1L. But, trust me, I have heard many.
I have taken to raising my hand only when one of my favorite stuck-up (or know-it all) classmates says something unbelievably doltish. I bask in the glory of bringing them back down to earth. I feel especially so, because these are the same people who love to shove other people's mistaken answers in that person's face. Let's face it, this is not Harvard Law. At this school, nobody has room for an ego. Everybody is on the same level. There are no pedestals here.
Not only have I come to terms with my lost social life and my now-diminished pride, but I, with much sadness, add my ego and the remnants of what used to be energy to the list of casualties lost to Law School. Score four for the legal profession. And, all I got was a free parking permit.
Monday, September 3, 2007
The Day of Labor - September 3, 2007
Before I am burdened with my pessimism, I want to share my weekend.
I sat on the couch all day Saturday. That statement is meant to be taken in the most literal of meanings. I told the roommate that I was planning to watch football all day. She did not think I would leave an imprint on the couch as a result.
Sunday garnished studying in an effort to make up for my lackadaisical Saturday. When dusk rolled in, so did my disdain for reading and note-taking. A trip was needed, and I did not care with whom I went. As luck would have it, my roommate felt the same way.
Nautical Mile, located 15 minutes from my house, is stationed on the water and is home to a bustling social scene. A downsized Sunset Strip, the Mile is packed with enough boat sales dealerships that each such establishment could, very well, sell a boat to each of the patrons at each of the packed bars.
Bars buttressed neighboring bars. An alcoholic's dream, one after another. Sufficient to say, there were a lot of bars. These were very different from those I am used to, though they are as crowded as Los Angeles bars. The Mile was packed with muscles the size of small grapefruit. The steroid business must be doing well. In addition, the "sleaze" demographic was well represented. Perhaps a creeper convention was in town.
The bars were all outside, which is very odd coming from California. Drinking in public, at a bar was somewhat unsettling. Alas, these are things I will get over.
Sunday night was definitely a good way for my roommate and I to relieve the cabin fever we had so easily procured from the previous days.
But life in law school is not as cheery as it may seem. Though I am intrigued (a word I have overused as of late) by the readings and the lectures, I am downtrodden by these same readings and lectures.
As I continue my studies, I am realizing that there is a substantial shortcoming to the legal process which I once so fervently believed was rightfully deemed the justice system.
Cases that scream unjustified are, somehow, termed valid as a result of the case law of the past. In discussions with my roommate this morning, I yearn to be a federal judge, holding an appointment for life barring any catastrophic failure in my service. I want to make decisions based on justice and righteousness within the bound of the law itself instead of relying on the rulings of cases of the past. Oh, to have dreams.
I sometimes see case law as more burdensome than justified. As they say in the rules of evidence, "the prejudicial value outweighs the probative value" or, in this instance, the positive effects of the application of case law leaves much to much room for loopholes: the damage caused by the idealistic equality in application of the laws and punishment can be put to ill-use.
In other cases, judges have an obvious bent. We read a case where a doctor wished to try a skin-graft on a child's burned hand. This was a great opportunity for the doctor to try new science. The doctor promised the hand would be returned to "100 percent" following the surgery. The skin graft was taken from the chest of the patient and applied to the palm of the hand. The surgery failed to bring the hand back to 100 percent. Not only was the hand as bad as it was prior to the graft, but the hand was now hairy as well. In court, a judgment was handed down for the patient in excess of around 3000 (I believe). The judge stated that the judgment was far too much.
I asked myself this: if I were the judge I would ask either myself or the doctor this question: what is the most you would pay to keep your hand from being removed from your body? That is a valid judgment in this particular case.
But, often, the case is unscrupulous. That kind of use of the justice system really bothers me.
In criminal law, our readings were on Good Samaritan laws, bystander intervention and bystander indifference. Many times, Anglo-American laws refuse to legislate morality and it really grinds my gears. We are, in some matters, willing to say that the taking of a life is a crime, but, in the same breath, allow the indifference of the commission of a crime.
"'You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours.' That is an extreme expression, but it constitutes an important thread within the Anglo-American sociomoral fabric..." - John Kleinig, Good Samaritansim
What a scary thought. This kind of thinking drives me to excel in the field of law so that I can make a positive difference on society.
And, interestingly enough, a person does not bear any burdens in the legal system as far as acting to prevent or stop a criminal act or victimization of their siblings (including calling for help in a medical emergency). These are the things they should have told me at a younger age. [This also applies to adult children helping their parents, even if they are unable to help themselves. Sorry Mom and Dad.]
Can we legislate morality? Who ultimately has the audacity to do so? (I am not alluding to Barack Obama, so do not even go there.) The better question is: Can we afford to allow immorality? Think of Kitty Genevase (read: victims of crime where bystanders do nothing). What will you determine is correct when you are the victim?
The answer is clear.
Who says dreams are shattered? I still have mine.
----
A professor told us that attorneys are the most important and influential people in society. I did not understand him at that particular instant, but his words are becoming increasingly clear as I invest an increasing amount of time in this field. Stay tuned for why...
I sat on the couch all day Saturday. That statement is meant to be taken in the most literal of meanings. I told the roommate that I was planning to watch football all day. She did not think I would leave an imprint on the couch as a result.
Sunday garnished studying in an effort to make up for my lackadaisical Saturday. When dusk rolled in, so did my disdain for reading and note-taking. A trip was needed, and I did not care with whom I went. As luck would have it, my roommate felt the same way.
Nautical Mile, located 15 minutes from my house, is stationed on the water and is home to a bustling social scene. A downsized Sunset Strip, the Mile is packed with enough boat sales dealerships that each such establishment could, very well, sell a boat to each of the patrons at each of the packed bars.
Bars buttressed neighboring bars. An alcoholic's dream, one after another. Sufficient to say, there were a lot of bars. These were very different from those I am used to, though they are as crowded as Los Angeles bars. The Mile was packed with muscles the size of small grapefruit. The steroid business must be doing well. In addition, the "sleaze" demographic was well represented. Perhaps a creeper convention was in town.
The bars were all outside, which is very odd coming from California. Drinking in public, at a bar was somewhat unsettling. Alas, these are things I will get over.
Sunday night was definitely a good way for my roommate and I to relieve the cabin fever we had so easily procured from the previous days.
But life in law school is not as cheery as it may seem. Though I am intrigued (a word I have overused as of late) by the readings and the lectures, I am downtrodden by these same readings and lectures.
As I continue my studies, I am realizing that there is a substantial shortcoming to the legal process which I once so fervently believed was rightfully deemed the justice system.
Cases that scream unjustified are, somehow, termed valid as a result of the case law of the past. In discussions with my roommate this morning, I yearn to be a federal judge, holding an appointment for life barring any catastrophic failure in my service. I want to make decisions based on justice and righteousness within the bound of the law itself instead of relying on the rulings of cases of the past. Oh, to have dreams.
I sometimes see case law as more burdensome than justified. As they say in the rules of evidence, "the prejudicial value outweighs the probative value" or, in this instance, the positive effects of the application of case law leaves much to much room for loopholes: the damage caused by the idealistic equality in application of the laws and punishment can be put to ill-use.
In other cases, judges have an obvious bent. We read a case where a doctor wished to try a skin-graft on a child's burned hand. This was a great opportunity for the doctor to try new science. The doctor promised the hand would be returned to "100 percent" following the surgery. The skin graft was taken from the chest of the patient and applied to the palm of the hand. The surgery failed to bring the hand back to 100 percent. Not only was the hand as bad as it was prior to the graft, but the hand was now hairy as well. In court, a judgment was handed down for the patient in excess of around 3000 (I believe). The judge stated that the judgment was far too much.
I asked myself this: if I were the judge I would ask either myself or the doctor this question: what is the most you would pay to keep your hand from being removed from your body? That is a valid judgment in this particular case.
But, often, the case is unscrupulous. That kind of use of the justice system really bothers me.
In criminal law, our readings were on Good Samaritan laws, bystander intervention and bystander indifference. Many times, Anglo-American laws refuse to legislate morality and it really grinds my gears. We are, in some matters, willing to say that the taking of a life is a crime, but, in the same breath, allow the indifference of the commission of a crime.
"'You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours.' That is an extreme expression, but it constitutes an important thread within the Anglo-American sociomoral fabric..." - John Kleinig, Good Samaritansim
What a scary thought. This kind of thinking drives me to excel in the field of law so that I can make a positive difference on society.
And, interestingly enough, a person does not bear any burdens in the legal system as far as acting to prevent or stop a criminal act or victimization of their siblings (including calling for help in a medical emergency). These are the things they should have told me at a younger age. [This also applies to adult children helping their parents, even if they are unable to help themselves. Sorry Mom and Dad.]
Can we legislate morality? Who ultimately has the audacity to do so? (I am not alluding to Barack Obama, so do not even go there.) The better question is: Can we afford to allow immorality? Think of Kitty Genevase (read: victims of crime where bystanders do nothing). What will you determine is correct when you are the victim?
The answer is clear.
Who says dreams are shattered? I still have mine.
----
A professor told us that attorneys are the most important and influential people in society. I did not understand him at that particular instant, but his words are becoming increasingly clear as I invest an increasing amount of time in this field. Stay tuned for why...
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