Mothers, A Network Support - September 7, 2007

I overheard somebody complaining about having to go to dinner with his mother. Sometimes, people do not understand how well-off they are. As far as I can tell, a great majority of the people at this school are New York natives, most of whom grew up less than two hours from Hofstra. Their adaptation to law school life is not easy by any measure, but they are only dealing with the transition from work or undergrad to law school.

I, on the other hand, with a select selection of my peers, are having to deal with a host of problems of our own. Not only is the actual schooling transition difficult, but we are dealing with the geographical transition in addition. There is much separation anxiety for students, like myself, who are severed from the families to which we have learned to find our support in times of most need(read: law school).

When your family is not only a crutch, but a wheelchair - something you don't only lean on, but which you need and rely - moving to the opposite end of the country is not the greatest idea. Luckily, I am a seasoned professional when it comes to having ideas that are not so great.

The following is a list of some of the multitudes of failed ideas I have had while in law school (the last two weeks):
1) Thinking that all the ideas in the preamble were actually worthy of notice, not just the notion of freedom and liberty. Apparently, in a Democratic Republic, we have no duty to help one another and protect others in a time of need. What was I thinking trying to persuade my professor of such ideals! Establishing justice, ensuring domestic tranquility, providing for the common defense and promoting the general welfare are secondary to liberty and freedom of choice; in other words, we can choose to forget the first four clauses of the Constitution. Welcome to New York reasoning.
2) Trying to compare a dog to a cockroach or spider in terms of actually being a deadly weapon, or not. I definitely left that out of my paper.
3) Studying in the library past 11:30PM.
4) Studying in the library on a Saturday.
5) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan.
6) Trying to have a civilized conversation about football with a student from Michigan who, in a drunken state, attempts to tell you that USC football is over-rated every season.
7) Laughing at that statement, thus ending civility. Then asking how his team's season is doing. It is at this point that you remind him that you may have been the only person not from Appalachian State who was witnessed (by another Michigan alum at Hofstra, nonetheless) as saying that Appalachian State was going to beat Michigan resulting in the biggest upset of an over-rated, ranked team in NCAA football history. You then bring up their last three games -- all losses.
8) Continuing the conversation when you realize no good can come of it…

Anyhow, the point is this: When your success is based on the interaction with those who have had incredible impacts on your life -- your mother and father, siblings, friends, and some of those persons who have molded you in some way as a role model -- even though you did not see or talk to them regularly, merely knowing that you had the ability to see them if needed, or talk to them at will, your success is heightened. Moving to a geographically secluded area from these people makes life unnecessarily difficult, especially when you could use the support the most.

I have begun to contact one person new each day so that my communications are spread around, but there are still those people with whom I need daily contact. I have found myself wanting to call my parents sometimes two and three times-a-day. In certain cases, I need this contact remain stable.

My failed idea - Thinking that all interaction with my network of support would be the same regardless of where I lived. In reality, knowing that you can see certain people any time you wish is as much a crutch as the communication.

I realized, upon receipt last-night, that I was given my first hug while in New York. Actually taking note of an activity that is very benign in our culture carries much meaning. I guess I need to find a web of support in this geographic area.


I want dinner with my mother.