Same Old, I'm Told - September 6, 2007

I am not a stranger to danger. Nay! I lived in South Los Angeles. I fell asleep to the sound of sirens, gun-shots and screams. I was not ever scared in that locale.

My manliness was put to the test: could I handle Hofstra University at night. Ironically, the parking lots that are usually packed with vehicles was without life. Perhaps I was less scared than I was worried. But the worry was not for fear of injury. I was worried that somebody would take my computer. I was not upset at the thoughts that my costly piece of master-made electronics could be taken; I was horrified at the thought of having the files on my computer stolen.

I pictured myself begging the would-be mugger for a quick minute to email myself my school work, promising that he could have my laptop when I was done. I am sick.

I did not sleep at all last night. Being in a conscious state of thought is not healthy when done for 48 hours,consecutively. My work is getting done, though I cannot gauge the quality of my learning, because my mind is not in a stage of being able to think properly. I am a self-defeating thinker.

In addition to having read and studied more in the past week than I did for the relative majority of my undergraduate education, but I set a new record of the same calibur. In one sitting, in one night, I spent more time in the library than I did in all of my undergrad. Yesterday was successful.

I was in the zone. Nothing could stop me. I would look down for what seemed like a few minutes, and the next thing I would see is the passing of four, then five, then over seven hours. Being the very last person to leave the library was not something I would have been designated prior to the start of law school. It seems I have taken on a whole new persona, and I almost like it.

I am also finding that, although I am not putting any conscious effort into befriending people, I am getting along with everybody. If a person sits next to me once, they usually make a point of talking to me in the future. It is nice to have finally molded myself into somebody that is "that guy" who can be enjoyed by any number of persons, regardless of their personalities. It is a shame I do not have more time to be social.

Classes today were of no special nature. It was the same "watch-your-peers-get-called-on-at-random and made-to-feel-dumb" day that has been occurring increasingly more now that school is underway in full force. When the common day is employed, common sense does not play an active role in the thought processes of many of the students at school. I am not saying that I act with common sense at all times, but I attempt to think things through before I ridicule myself in from of 130 other persons.

Some day, when I run the world, common sense will actually be common.
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Each day is made easier knowing that my family and friends are offering their support in my undertaking. They can take my life, but they can never take my will. Even in my financial situation, law school is not free.