Final(s) Post - December 2007

Where does one begin when describing the end? Three weeks of pure stress consumed my life. Every morning I awoke to thoughts about law school studying. Every night I fell asleep reviewing the day’s studies. I ate in between studying, and I slept when my brain could no longer retain information. Fewer hours of sleep were had than when major papers were due; my lack of undergraduate attempts to cram information into every fold of my brain were made up in a few short days of studying. Rereading, relearning, reviewing, retreading through the same information was all that occurred.

My roommate was gone to study at a local restaurant with her friend when I awoke, and asleep as I studied into the early morning. This mix-match of schedules created the perfect study environment inside the cave (known to commoners as my house). I saw sunlight shine through the windows too many times as I pull the covers over my drained body. My sustenance was comprised of foil wrapper after foil wrapper filled with peanut butter cup. The roommate pondered staging an intervention to stop my eating habits. My consumption of sub-standard, nutrition value-lacking food would drive any twig look-alike to blowup to enormity and waddle like a pregnant penguin whose only asset was calories and chins. I, however, kept all the weight off – I would like to thank stress for its somewhat positive effect on my life. I would also like to damn stress to the darkest corners of the galaxy. Martians are probably better equipped to deal with it anyhow.

I have not before experienced the intensity with which I was admonished. I am now all the much stronger as a result. Stronger, that is, until I think about doing the same thing five more times. I shake my head and skip a heart-beat every time I ponder this conundrum. Please, send help. I sent only one complaint to the Dean. A success in itself.

We will start where any good story begins: at the beginning; well, we shall continue this story at the beginning that comes after the overview, but before the substance. Bear with me –

Monday, December 10 at 8:30 AM (crazy-early, like all our tests) came a little too quickly. Civil Procedure, like all other classes, was a shot in the dark. We were, however, shooting in the dark, trying to hunt one pissed-off grizzly bear. All we had was a sad red-rider bb-gun. The bb-gun was provided through our allowed open-notes testing. We knew exactly what to expect because we had a midterm examination. In fact, this was the only class that we had an inkling of a clue as to how it was going to end up: bad. Very, very bad. Being the first of four finals, I saved very little room in my already over-consumed memory bank. I felt very solid walking out of the examination. My test software did not cause a malfunction on my computer, I finished the test, and was confident as I walked out of the building. We were given a character limitation – every press of the spacebar made me wince in pain - and I will be darned if I did not utilize every last character I was allotted. I had a job to do, and I was going to do it in every inch of the page that I could. The only problem was revealed as my classmates incessantly attempted to confer how well they did on the exam. When a curve is instituted, as is done in law school, hearing this cheerful demeanor from one’s classmates is just about the last thing anybody wants to hear. I still feel solid, but I have no clue how I will actually end up doing.

I went home, and without a thought, pulled out my Contracts materials. Let’s face it: I was comfortable with Civil Procedure and Criminal Law, but Contracts and Torts left much to be desired in my knowledge-banks. I studied my behind off. Perhaps that is where the peanut butter cups went.

Wednesday, a mere day and one-half was six hours of sleep later. We were expected to perform with great precision. The Uniform Code was deeply ingrained in whatever faction of my body that would accept such dull and dry information. When do I apply it? Who is the buyer, and who is the seller? What the heck is a contract? When do I email the Dean? Yes, these were all questions I pondered keenly.

The word-count on this test was intense. The intensity rose because this was a two part test with a short 10 minute break in the middle of the first essay/short-answer section that was open-book, and the second part: a closed-book, confusing multiple choice section. Again, my annoying and overly-burdensome classmates insisted on discussing the first part of the test during the break. I had to restrain Michelle from stabbing the “discussers” with a pen, and she would reciprocate with restraining me from using the blunt end of my highlighters to inflict pain on my colleagues. It was not pretty.

Needless to say, I had “issues” with the professor and the test, as has been previously discussed. I either nailed this test, or I was so far off that I had no clue about that which I thought I had a clue. Can you say roll of the dice?

Finally, we were given a “breather” of sorts. Criminal Law was slated for the following Monday (December 17). As I have heard from friends at other Law Schools, our school followed suit with stories of impossible criminal law exams. This test was no different. Like many other tests, we were to assume the lack of any laws in existence and should proceed as if the fact pattern was assumed to be a case of first-impression. Meaning, it was the first case of its kind. Immediately following the exam, I rewrote the question with as much precision as possible – I think it is almost identical to the actual pattern given on the test, and have included it at the end for your enjoyment. Basically, the question was what we (meaning I, the writer) refer to as a “throw in everything, including the stainless steel kitchen sink”. And, that is exactly what I did. I had charges ranging from child endangerment to criminally negligent homicide and from assault/battery to murder. Heck, we even had a bit of conspiracy and accomplice charges.

As per the multiple choice, very few gave me problems. I committed a feux paux, and actually looked up the questions to see if I was correct. It bothered me too much to just wonder. There were a few questions that I narrowed down and made a “best guess” pick. From those questions I remembered well enough to be able to look up with accuracy, I got all-but-one on which I had trouble correct. The lone question I question, I could not remember my answer. It is becoming my catch phrase, but “we shall see”.

Out of all the exams, I eerily felt the most comfortable with my performance on this examination. It was part essay part multiple choice (20 questions). The essay had a limit on the length (as they all seem to do) and the entire test was closed-book. It was just me and my terrorized mind. For a victim of crime, my brain and I did pretty well. I THINK I did well, but who really knows?

The final examination occurred that freaky Wednesday. December 19, 2007 signaled the final examination of my first semester of law school. The open-book examination left me without much memory afterward. I walked out, and almost instantly forgot what was asked. The fact-pattern was five-pages long, single spaced, 12-point font. It was long. There were three questions asking us to argue three different motions from either the plaintiff or the defense views. The word limit was incredibly small. I outlined my answers, though this was not easy because it was, again a case of first impression, in a jurisdiction where the only laws we knew were those which we were given (which was one) and we could not make any assumptions (like any other question in law). I had all my answers written out, as I was not paying attention to length, within one and one-half hours. At this point somebody walked out of the class having finished, apparently – this was an insane act. I spent the next part of the three hour examination cutting-down and refining my answers to the questions. I thought, with the immense amount of time that was left, I would be done well before time was called. I was, in fact, one of the very last people, in the class of over 120, to walk out of the room. I used every minute of the test. I cited ever ounce of persuasive authority (specifically the Restatement of Torts) that was available to me. I read, wrote, and redid both those steps more times than I wish to remember. It could never be absolutely perfect. As before, either I was dead on, or my brain was dead off. I got over it very quickly. Did I mention that I literally did not sleep for even one-minute the night before the test? Yeah, I did not sleep. It was not anxiety. I do not know what it was. I tried drugging myself with allergy medication. No luck. Oh well. At least I have a mild excuse. But, excuses stink.

I have purposely left out key parts of my studying and notes process and use. In this curve-ridden dog-eat-dog world, as instituted by those in charge, I feel that any revelation as to what I believe to be partial brilliance on my part, would help my classmates all too much. Perhaps when the curve and my grades no longer has such effect on my life, sharing will be possible. Just know, that I felt very prepared when examinations were open-note.

Finals is stressful because the examination grades account for what isliterally the entire grade in the class. Finals is stressful because we know that how we do on these tests has an effect on our lives and income-earning ability. I, however, believe that the period after finals, but before the release of grades, is more stressful. Final examination study time is rough, but you can control all elements of your ability to get the grades you want. You can study harder, create better outlines. You control the preparation. When you are done and waiting, there is nothing you can do. The control is no longer in your hands. We are sitting dugs. Kangaroos in a cage. A wingless bird.

I have so many more stories. Like the one about how my roommate had the gall to complain to me about receiving an A- in legal writing. Or, the one about how even those who call her a friend complain about her cut-throat nature. Being competitive is one action, but “throwing your mother under the bus” for a grade is heinous. I do not approve. More later. My brain still does not fully function.

So, here I sit. Waiting. Wishing. Hoping. I do, however, sleep more at the present time. Perhaps that is good.

Was it all worth it? I do not know.

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Criminal Law Final Essay Question Remembered

Nita Nanny is a 19 year old au pair from Denmark who is hired by the Smiths to be care for their 3 year old son, Sam. In exchange for her watching Sam for 40 hours per week, the Smiths will provide her with room and board in addition to $200 per week. The job gets rough from the beginning, as Nita is forced to watch Sam for 60-80 hours per week, as Sam’s mother is working at a big project at work. Mrs. Smith promises to offset the time worked when the project is completed. Because she must work so much, Nita is forced to miss classes and study time.

Her boyfriend, Bob, came over to the Smith’s house, as he normally does when they are away, and brought Nita her grades. She has earned a failing grade in one class and a C- and D in the other two classes. Nita is very upset with the Smiths. Nita got into an argument with Sam, who tried to bite and kick Nita. Nita became frustrated and, in a fit of rage, slammed Sam against a wall, and told him to stay in the room to rest. It turns out that Sam suffered an injury to his head when it hit a toy truck after he was slammed against the wall.

After Nita left the bedroom, she and Bob went to the couch where Nita expressed her anger at the Smiths, and said, “I am going to get even with them.” Bob agreed that Sam was a “brat” and told Nita that he would help her get even.

At 5:00PM, Nita went to check on Sam, and couldn’t find him in his room. When she walked into the kitchen, she saw Sam holding a large knife – he had access to the knives because they had been carelessly left laying out. Sam lunged toward Nita with the knife. Nita though Sam was attacking her, and she feared for her line – Sam was not actually attacking her, but merely passing out of consciousness. Nita looked for a way to escape, but realized she couldn’t exit in time, and saw a knife near her. She reached for the knife, which was barely out of reach. At this moment, Bob walked in, and seeing the situation, slid Nita the knife. Nita stabbed Sam, and called 911 immediately after. Despite their best efforts, the Doctors could not save him, and Sam died. The Doctor told them that if Sam did not suffer the head injury, he probably would not have died from the stabbing.

Discuss any possible charges the prosecution could bring against Nita and Bob, any possible defenses, and arguments and reasoning you use therein. Do not restate arguments that you have already made, refer to the previous arguments and state how it is different in its application. You will be graded on how clear, concise and complete you are.

Life Is Good - December 24, 2007

Though I have not gotten around to reliving the dreadful experience that was finals in law school, I am driven to share a recent (as of minutes) experience that I was given the opportunity to undertake.

In a showing of goodwill to my neighbors - and to suck-up to one whose daughter-in-law (a regional recruiter for a very large, very well-paying, highly respected law firm) was visiting - I baked cookies (dark chocolate and white chocolate) and brownies, from scratch, and delivered a serving of each to all of them. Upon delivering my savory baking to my across-the-street-neighbor, I was invited to join them for a Christmas Eve gathering they were hosting. Being a Jew, and longing for some tasty food, I decided to take them up on this offer. It was a fantastically brilliant choice to join them.

The food layout was incredible. Every seafood-eating pseudo-vegetarian alive would have yearned for the food. Butter shrimp, eggplant rollitini, lobster ravioli, clams, muscles, stuffed mushrooms and a salad that was to-die-for. It was amazing. Four beers, three plate-fulls and many dessert servings later, I was one happy guy. The family quickly took me in as one of their own. I felt very much at home. They say that the closest thing to a Jewish family is an Italian family, and whoever said that was right.

The fire department, with their engine pulling a trailer with a sleigh mounted to it and Santa Clause on board made their stop at the house. All the neighborhood kids (and I mean ALL the kids) came into the house and sat on Santa's lap and received a toy. Jesus Christ has the best birthdays! This year, I got to partake in the spoils of his festivities.

It has been a long while since I had this much fun. I am thankful for neighbors. Let's hear it for attempts to suck-up - it never fails to yield joy and prosperity for me.

Life is good.

Contracts... and my Letter - December 12, 2007

The below summarizes my Contracts Final Examination experience. Given the circumstances, I feel great about my performance on the test.

Cheers!

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To Whom It May Concern:

In a normal course of events, I would strive to avoid complaint, but the circumstances of a final today do not allow me to remain silent. I am sure your office receives numerous irate and questioning students posing varying qualities of issues about fairness and test-writing. Passing judgment as to the quality of questions on a test is reserved for those times when there is more than one occurrence of what can be described as that which we have been taught amounts to negligence.

Professor S. presented our 1L Contracts class with a final examination that was noticeably flawed and carelessly left without updates. More than once, questions would speak to one subject in the prompt, and the subsequent multiple-choice answers would refer to a very different subject. In one prompt a limousine was the item in question in a transaction; the proceeding answers left us to decide between an answer that could very possibly fit and an answer that fit but referred to a boat. If we were to assume he meant limousine and not a boat, the second answer would be the correct choice, if we were to assume instructor infallibility, the first would be the best choice. This type of problem occurred multiple times; one question spoke about scooters, and the answers referred to widgets.

The problem with assuming a mistake on the professor's part occurred where the Professor posed a question about a volume seller, but directed us to refer to the first part of a section of the UCC that spoke to non-volume sellers. The second part of the very same section speaks to volume sellers. Were we to follow his instructions, we would be applying the wrong part of the UCC yielding a certain answer; to apply the correct part of the UCC would be another answer that was provided. The supposition that the professor made mistakes in questioning would lead to one answer; reasoning that he purposely wrote the test as he did, led to another answer.

Many law schools provide students with a form, as a part of each test, that they can use to challenge questions of this nature. I do not envy the Professors in the test writing and grading processes, but fairness in questioning is a very large issue. Test questions should not require students to make wild assumptions as to the intent and carelessness of the professor in addition to attempting to presume the circumstances under which the test was written.

Thank you for your time in addressing this issue. I imagine I am not the only one bringing this issue to your attention.

Should the issue require further explanation or description, I would be delighted to assist you in any way I can. You may reach me by email or telephone at your convenience.

Again, I apologize if I come across as complaining, but I realize that this is an issue that has the potential to affect no only myself, but my peers as well. It is also that which should be corrected for the future, as it is unreasonable to expect high performance on exams that are not of the highest quality themselves.

Very Respectfully Yours,

Stream of Think

A great (and what I am told is a famous) hypothetical:
"Plaintiff alleges that Defendant borrowed plaintiff's pot and put a crack in it. Defendant answers that he did not borrow the pot; alternatively, the pot was never cracked; and alternatively, the pot was already cracked when he borrowed it."
- "Would this pleading be permissible under Rule 11, assuming any reasonably likely set of facts?"

Contract Flaw - Quick Study Thought - December 8, 2007

Oh contract law!

Instead of saying: "if you start working, you accept the offer and promise to complete the job", they say "Where an offer can be accepted either by promise or performance the tender or beginning of performance is an acceptance by performance and such an acceptance operates as a promise to render complete performance." (Restatement of Contracts 62)

No wonder people hate attorneys.

Still Alive - December 5, 2007

I am still breathing. The last week of classes and finals are no fun. But, alas, I live.

Check out two new features:

1) Sandal Watch. As they say, you can take the boy out of California, but you cannot take the California out of the boy.

2) Interactive poll. Help choose the content and give me some ideas of want the readers want to know.

I will be doing a major post this weekend when I take a break from studying.

My finals schedule is as follows:
December 7, 2007 - Evening - Synagogue - Jewish Services
December 8, 2007 - Morning - Mosque - Muslim Prayer
- Evening - Temple - Hindu Spiritual Prayer
December 9, 2007 - Morning - Church - Mass
- Evening - Temple - Buddhist Meditation
December 10, 2007 - All the prayer in the world...

December 10, 2007 - 8:30AM - Civil Procedure
December 13, 2007 - 8:30AM - Contracts
December 17, 2007 - 8:30AM - Criminal Law
December 19, 2007 - 8:30AM - Torts

December 19, 2007 - 11:31AM - I become inebriated

Wish me luck... Check back in at your leisure.

Finals

I will most likely not be making an entry every day. I hope to do a weekly recap during the last week of classes...

For finals, I will recap after each test.

Sorry I cannot amuse as much. Keep checking in, though.