Today was as basic as a day can get. I spent over one-hour in traffic going to school, so I decided that I best make the best of my trek by staying in the library until 11:00PM.
I am feeling, for the first time, like I am behind and not working hard enough. Something changed over the last two weeks and I am not happy with the transformation that has seemingly taken place.
Regardless of the truth of the matter, feeling inadequate is not a good thing whatsoever. I sometimes feel lost in class, whereas never before did I feel such. I do not feel on top of the world, which for somebody as competitive as I, is not a good thing, but can become so. I need to reapply myself, use my competitive nature as a boost, and re-initiate the practices I used previously. I have too many feelings.
Perhaps other things have been on my mind, or I have reverted to my old ways; these practices were once workable, but cannot continue. I intend to spend late nights in the library.
In addition, people seem to have a more chipper attitude than I. Random acts of kindness have been seen multiple times, and I just do not seem to have that mentality of strengthening the community.
I received an email from my writing professor today thanking me for the teddy bear I gave her daughter (who is very sick and in the hospital). Normally, I would keep my mouth shut and take credit for my good deed, though I did not do a thing. However, this situation was very different.
I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow, so, if she asks me about it, which she is bound to do, I have to answer. I have an inkling about how she thinks I was a part of this good deed (read: brilliant act of sucking-up). I cannot be sure of this theory though, so I must do some research.
Tomorrow should be interesting.
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